New Year... new adventures

Its another new years eve.... yet again everyone has made a huge hype about where to go and what do to. I never understand why people are so concentrated on having the best new years ever, when a random night in july is usually the best night ever.

Tonight, my boyfriend, brother and his girlfriend will be venturing into territory that I have always wanted to explore- the peach drop in down town Atlanta. In 23 years of living in Georgia, i have always watched the peach drop on TV and wanted to go- so finally, this year, we are going to do it. I have heard that is an experience to have once, and only once, so I guess this is the year.

I have been thinking about this past year, where I was for new years last year-in Chicago, stranded with no clothes and staying at my new boyfriends mom's house- where I was living- in my great aunts house in queens, trucking though the WORST winter in 20 years Manhattan had seen- confused as to where I wanted to go and where I wanted to be. The things that have happened this year I could not even make up. My life has taken a 180 degree turn.

But now what? Have I settled too soon in a city that is too familiar? I am getting that itching feeling that I need an adventure. I had seen a physic a few months ago at a party. I have never really believed in physics, always thought they were full of crap. But one thing she did say to me, stuck pretty hard- she told me that there will be a big adventure coming up in my life within the next year, a life changing adventure that not even you saw happening. Whatever this adventure is- I am ready for it. Maybe its the fact that for 4 years in college, I moved every year, never living in the same room for more than 9 months- has the fast pace of college life made me unable to settle in a place for more than a year? A possible downfall?

Who knows- but on this new years eve- I am ready. I've got my winter cold all lined up as usual, cough with stuffy nose and ready to ring in 2012.

Someone once told me that a trait of a great writer is the ability to write everything- good adventures and bad, easy times and hard. I am still working on becoming a great writer- maybe a columnist? But for now, I will stick to the free lance gig's from my old job at Hearst- its been a cool addition to the cash flow (and seeing my writing on Marie Claire's website doesn't suck). I will become a great writer, in time, maybe not in 2012- but I will.

The past few days I have been thinking... what if I go back to school- get certified to become a child life specialist? Or a child counselor? I went to a child life specialist when I was younger, and she changed my life. I still have that itching to help others- make their life better in some way.

There's alot to come in 2012- so bring it on new year- its gonna be a wild one.

Peace, love and happy new years,

b

Sickly

I swore last time, about a year ago from today- that I would never throw up at work again, because no one likes a sick person or throw up.

Well... I guess I broke that promise. I felt perfectly fine when I woke up this morning (yes, a little hung over- drank a few glasses of wine with my mom at dinner, but nothing to hold me down). I went to the gym, took a shower, ate a granola bar and was on my way to work. About half way through my commute- I felt like a brick hit my throat. I was nauseous and felt dizzy. I considered stopping on the side of the road. Because the thought of throwing up in my car made me even more nauseous. But the more I drove, the more I felt dizzy and the more I coughed and felt like I would throw up- it was a viscous circle.

Thankfully, I made it to work- got right out of my car and dry heaved outside of my car... in the parking lot of work....real professional.

I figured I was already at my office, so I might as well grab my laptop and go right back home. But no- it's never that simple. The second I got into the building, a wave of nausea came over me, and I ran straight to the bathroom- and threw up.

Obviously I left work and came home, and now just feel like crap....still. So maybe I can keep my promise- I will NEVER throw up at work again... it's still frowned upon, just like it was a year ago.

Peace, love and resting,

B

Avoiding Traffic

Every city has traffic. This is a fact. And every driver gets frustrated with it. Well, yesterday- downtown Atlanta was basically in a grid lock by 5:15- a little earlier than usual, I suspect because of the Georgia Tech football game (why it was on a Thursday I can't tell you).

I had to be at the 4 seasons by 6:00- so I left with a few co workers at 5 to make the less than a mile drive to the hotel. We all knew it would take some time for the short drive. I get to the street the hotel is on, I am talking on the phone, thinking I knew where I was going. I pull into a driveway... that happened to be the wrong hotel- I was only one street off- the Four Seasons was only about a block away. There was a valet circle with a small driveway where hotels like to put really nice cars- now this drive way looked like it connected the two hotels. I could see the 4 Seasons, and getting back onto the actual street seemed impossible with the gridlock- so seeing I couldn't get back into traffic, I started driving down the small drive way. Driving down this driveway helped me avoid traffic and got me closer to the hotel I needed to be.

Everything was fine, until I almost got to the hotel- where there was a sign right in the middle of the drive way. I could't figure out why there was a sign in my way. And then it clicked- the "driveway" I had been riding on.... wasn't a driveway.. No, it was the sidewalk. Yes- I drove on the sidewalk in the middle of downtown Atlanta during the heart of traffic hour.

When I tried to get my car off the driveway, the fellow drivers gave me the worst looks and would not let me back into the traffic. Finally, someone was nice enough to let me back into traffic, where all i did was hop off and then tun right into the right hotel.

Thankfully there were no police officers around to watch my little adventure on the sidewalk, but I did learn a very important lesson- the sidewalks in Atlanta are big enough to drive on. So when the streets are jammed- I have an alternate route.

Peace, love and driving directions,

B

Wonderland

So I got a framed picture and on it there is an arrow pointing into the distance and written in black ink on the arrow is "To Wonderland." I have been thinking of where to hang it- above my bed, near my closet, or anywhere. It has been sitting next to my door for about a week now- hasn't moved an inch, clearly because I have done nothing with it. I just haven't had the time to actually hang it. So there it sits, waiting to be placed.

My picture is kind of in a limbo land- waiting until I am ready to move it. For some reason, everything I do at the moment is in a weird limbo land also. My weekends are planned around visits with my boyfriend (who is done with school in December and fingers crossed and every luck charm, will have a job in Atlanta)- all I want is for him to be here- I miss this summer, when he was available to me all the time- we could get lunch during the week, cook dinner at night and go do fun things. He was here for the most amazing almost 4 months, and then he was just gone. I forgot how hard long distance was the second he arrived back in April- and now I remember how hard it was- and its even harder. And its one of those things that no one else can make better or fix. No matter how late I stay at work, how many hours I spend at the gym or go out trying to avoid missing him- that itch in my stomach to hang out with him and see him every day does not go away. We are a team- and flying without my partner in crime all the time is really hard.

So right now, him and I are in the limbo land- just waiting for graduation, trying everything possible to make the weeks go by faster. We are almost there- only about a month left, he has been gone since September, but for some reason- once November 1st rolled around- everything really sunk in that he was not living here anymore. There are no other words to describe it other than it just plain sucks.

So- for now, yea I am living in limbo- just like my picture. Maybe one of these days the picture will find its place on my wall and point to which ever direction "Wonderland" is. Maybe when my picture finds its place, I'll find mt wonderland. Maybe I will just leave my picture there until my boyfriend finally moves here- and he can help me hang it. Someone has to find there place- so my picture and I might as well find it together.

Maybe its the weather (its nasty outside) or the fact that it got dark outside before I left work- or I just miss my partner in crime right now a lot- just in a really weird funk. Hopefully nothing that a gym session cant fix.

peace, love and Gym Therapy-

b

Whipped Cream

Tonight I went to a cooking class at the Viking cooking school in Atlanta. The theme was french food. We were given a set of recipes for each course and set up in battle style- 2 teams with about 6 people on each team.

The menu consisted of goat cheese and sun-dried tomato crostini for an appetizer, mediterrian bread salad, risotto with porcini mushrooms, chicken breasts with lemon sauce and little chocolate cakes with amaretto cream for desert. The 6 of us were tasked with completing all of the dishes in about 45 minutes- so we split up into teams within our one team- each tasked with a course. I was in charge of the Mediterrian bread salad and the whipped cream topping for the deserts. The salad was no big deal- a lot of chopping veggies and mixing together the dressing... but the whipped cream turned into my master piece.

First of all, maybe this was my ignorance, but I never knew that real whipped cream (like CoolWhip) was actually literally just cream, whipped with a spoon- like actually stirred- for a long time. I had no idea. But tonight, I learned how to make the most amazing whipped cream in the entire world:

Wisk about a cup of creme (for around 10ish minutes) while adding sugar as needed (I had been drinking while cooking, so I basically just kept adding sugar). Once the creme and sugar mixture turned over to be whipped- I added a tablespoon of Amaretto (I had asked out chef for a full cup of Amaretto- once I added the tablespoon, I put the left over into a class with ice... hello amaretto on the rocks). I kept whipping and drinking my amaretto on the rocks until the mixture was light and fluffy, then put into the refrigerator to cool.

Once I pulled the whipped cream out of the refrigerator, my mind was blown. It turned out to be the most amazing whipped cream I have ever tasted- maybe it was the fact that I had been heavily drinking while whipping, but still, it rocked my world.

The other recipes turned out amazing- we all followed the directions but also added a few ingredients by taste (something that I found is not my talent). One thing I learned about myself and cooking- amazing things happen when I follow directions- but even more amazing things happen when I drink and then follow directions, as long as no open flames are involved.

peace love and learning to cook gourmet,

B

Bad Habbits

So I have an issue. I have been battling with this habit for as long as I remember. My grandmother use to tell me that, 'no boy will love hands with bitten nails.' (thankfully- I found a boy that loves my hands with manicured and bit finger nails) I CANNOT stop biting my nails. I have tried every regiment under the sun- bad tasting polish, gum, chewing ice, and much more. There will be weeks where my nails look great- long, well polished and not bitten, and then there will be one day- something will happen and before I know it- all 10 nails are bit off- looking short and stubby.

Yes, its gross and disgusting. I'm aware. I just don't know how to stop myself. Grated, my bad habit could be much worse, but still.... it's gross, and I know it- just don't know how to stop....

My only solution- get rid of all stress and makes me bite them- but maybe I'll try this next week- when my nails finally grow back.

peace, love and wishing for the french manicure-

b

Anonymous Commentator

My last blog sparked a good comment from an anonymous commentator:

To the Blogger,

Why must one have a direction? The protesters are simply advocating that there is a significant issue with our society. They are expressing that there are hundreds of issues that need to be fixed. And the great thing about this protest is that there are passionate people for every issue. Therefore, it is inconceivable for these Americans to pick a "direction" because of the numerous issues. From war to the environment to the financial systems to the corruption of politics and ect.

In addition, the idea that these protesting Americans, who pay taxes, are sleeping in parks (according to dictionary.com a park is an "area of land, for the enjoyment of the public, managed by a city state or nation") is the perfect place for them to express their 1st amendment rights.

Overall, in my mind, this *idealistic directional change* you insists the protesters should have, should not come from them. I believe, the elected officials are responsible for collecting the opinions of all the *people* in their respective county/city/state because it is their "*JOB*".


Sincerely,
A frequent reader of "Brandi Maxine Does Life"

And here is my response to the Frequent reader of "Brandi Maxine Does Life",

To the dearest "Anonymous" Blogger,

I have read your comments and watched your video. And agree that you make very valid points. I do agree that a wonderful aspect of the United States is the freedom to be passionate about whatever subject one would like- weather it be politics, boating or gardening.
I agree with you that politicians are voted into office to be the speaker of the people. But currently, I feel that these politicians have lost site of the people, and have lost site of what is really important and what the majority of this country needs. Democracy is a 200+ year old experiment, and clearly it needs a face lift- needs a force of revamping.

Those who are out protesting are showing their anger and frustration- all within legal limits. There is nothing wrong with the freedom of speech, but I believe that if one wants change, one must make change. I do highly disagree with the way CiTi Bank handled the situation with the customers trying to close their accounts, the customers were doing nothing wrong. But this type of action by the law enforcement, I feel, is in direct correlation with their frustration.The frustration of wanting change as well but also wanting the protesting to turn into progress, not just people sleeping in the park- sitting in drum circles and dancing around.

Not in my life time (or possibly yours...) have I seen a power of someone like Ghandi, MLK, or Roosevelt- who were able to lift the spirits of others, make them believe in a cause, have the right ideas and instate change. This protest, this social movement, is in dire need of a leader, someone with the charisma to articulate the frustrations, to inspire the politicians that might have lost sight of what is important. Sometimes politicians need a little reminder of what is needed, yes they are highly educated individuals- but sometimes need inspiration.

Don't you sometimes need inspiration, someone to sit with you one on one and lay it all out for you- piece by piece, just to see a different angle? Don't you sometimes need support and a voice for when you are not being heard? This is what the 99% is missing, the voice of reason, the voice of the collective- yes, that is what the politicians are for, but it seems to me that they need a little help and a little reminder....

So if I can leave you with one thought it would be this- if you are considering joining the 99%, what do YOU have to offer then other than a warm body in a sleeping bag in the middle of a park? Because it looks like they have plenty of these, but not enough leaders.

Peace, Love and Forever your support,
b

99%

All the protests going on in major cities seem to be for a good cause- but a question that I personally have for the protesters representing the 99% is this: what change do you actually want? Protesting for a good cause, for change or for a better life is all good and dandy, but without a direction, without a clear outline of how to make change, don't you find it a little difficult to actually protest?

My problem with the protesters is the lack of direction. In order to create change, one must have an idea of what to change. What part of our society mush change for the 99% to succeed? America is the land of hard work- NOT the land of beg and you shall receive. Blaming the wealthy does absolutely nothing without a reason to blame them.

I am the only one that can be accountable for my success- this is the same for everyone else. People get where they are by their drive; having the money does help- but not having the money makes the outcome success even sweeter.

This is for the 99%- in order for your cause to be successful, find a direction- you all have the inspiration to protest, but find the drive to describe the cause, not just be a big group of people sleeping outside in parks.

Just my opinion....

peace, love and I hope the 99% finds direction, before they self implode,

B

Dear Mr. Jobs

‎'You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.” ~Steve Jobs...RIP

In honor of Steve Jobs, I will find what I love. I will do what I love. Great work is what I thrive to deliver, and finding an outlet for great work is the mission I am on. I will keep looking and believe me, Mr. Jobs, I will not settle.

Steve did what he loved. He made his mark and made his own way. He inspired millions- by just doing him. What is stopping me from making my mark? What is my road block? Life is clearly short- nothing is for sure, decisions must be made and sometimes there is no time to think, just time to do and think later.

I read an article recently that spoke about how hard it is to write when life is actually good. When I am actually happy- I am not sitting at home with my computer typing about being happy, I am actually living out my happiness. When life isnt so pretty- when the world turns against me, I curl up next to my beloved computer that never seems to disappoint me. The struggle of actually being a writer is the ability to write all feelings- mad, sad, happy and everything in between. The past few months for me have been amazing- my boyfriend was living in Atlanta, and instead of writing about how much I missed being together with him and doing things together, we were out- living.

If I want to be a writer, If I want to be great, and If I want people to actually care what I have to say, then writing in all times is what I need to learn how to do. I might start slow- not writing about every little thing, but the writing will come.

So, I have to say, thank you Steve Jobs, for everything you did in your 56 years of living, and for the inspiration you have given me in your death. Because your life was taken away in such a short time, I promise you that I will find what I love to do, I will keep looking until I find it, and will never settle. I swear.

Peace, love and on a mission,

B

Needing a Facelift

Just as the seasons are about to change, I have made the executive decision that my blog needs a facelift. In the next few weeks, when I can actually get around to it, there will be pictures uploaded here, and videos and maybe dancing elephants, anything cool I can manage to find.

Its funny, sitting down and writing seems like a simple idea, doesn't take much effort- just need about 30 minutes, alone, whit little distraction. But recently, these 30 minutes don't really seem to exist. Between work, working out, having a social life, playing volleyball, cooking, cleaning, reading, spending time in the shower, writing takes a back seat.

Clearly I cannot replace anything on that list- everything needs to get done- and everything will get done, I just want to move writing more up on the list. As life starts to really happen- and really fun things take place, there is less and less time to write.... time... where does it go?

peace love and facelift,

b

Places I cannot go anymore

last weekend, my boyfriend and I were walking around downtown after a quick little stay-cation at my favorite hotel in Atlanta. The weather was beautiful, sun was shining, not a cloud in the sky and finally it did not feel like a sauna outside. We decided to explore.

At the corner of Centennial Olympic park, there is a childrens museum. Seeing as my boyfriend and I really are still just big kids, we decide it would be really fun to go in. Well, to all of you who didn't know, childrens museums are not for adults. We clearly saw nothing wrong with wanting to explore the cool science displays- but clearly the owners of the museum did. We went in to buy our tickets, and the woman behind the counter asked, 'do you have a child with you?' My boyfriend and I looked at each other, very confused- I thought to say, yes, I am a big child and apparently my boyfriend is too, but seeing as that would have been inappropriate, we said we clearly didn't have one. The woman told us we were not allowed to enter without a child. Not fair. How come only adults with children are allowed to go into the fun places?

So now for the future, incase you are trying to go to a childrens museums, you either need to borrow or steal a child before going in, but just don't get arrested doing it.

Peace, love and clearly not a child,

b

things that are important

On my way to work this morning, something occurred to me- a few things that I want to achieve in life and a few things that I never want to change about myself and the main point in life. I never want to change my attitude. I am a happy person by nature- and feel that this is a very rare attribute. Now that I know what love is like outside of my family, I don't ever want to lose that feeling. Isn't that what everyone searches for anyways? Love is the reason I went out EVERY night in college and got dressed up and tried to meet as many boys as I could- to just find one to love me, to make me feel safe and not alone.

It's one of those days... a day of reflection... more to come when I can actually expand... not at work :)

peace love and lots of thinking,

b

An update....

Just like in elementary school, middle school and high school, summer is all about the break. Break from really thinking, break from all responsibility and a break from all life- well that is what I did with blogging, I took a summer break. Mostly not being inside long enough to complete my full thoughts. Although its been the hottest summer basically ever..... I have survived through it and enjoyed the time I could outside. Having a pool in my apartment complex also helps.

But now that most public schools are back in session, so am I. It's time to get back in my groove. Back to telling the world about my life. And considering its almost been a full year since I left to move to New York, its time to keep on my track to find what I really want to do. Life is pretty amazing right now socially, the most amazing boyfriend, new friends that I never through I would find in Atlanta and trying new things (like volleyball)- but there is a little something missing, maybe professionally is what's missing. I have been liking my job better- its been challenging, but maybe something else- It is a hard feeling to explain, I just want more. Maybe just something else on the side, maybe getting more involved in my work or finding something on top of my job.... Just need to search for what that something else is...

My biggest fear is to not get into a groove- not have things that I only like to do to become normal. Life should be wonderful and exciting- life should be an adventure- not just going through the motions. This is the new goal- get out of the like and get into the love..... whatever that might be.

Peace, love and schools back in session,

b

Neat Freak.

I have never, ever, ever, in my entire life considered myself a neat freak. Neither would anyone who knows me. To my friends and family that know me best, they are all aware that cleaning is not my strong suit. Typically, I push things into corners, cover dust with more dust and consider folding clothes- crumpling them up into a ball and shoving onto a shelf or into a drawer.

Up until the past few weeks, I have always considered my style of clean as organized chaos. My mom use to close my door so she would not have to look into my messy room. But not anymore mom- for some reason, magically, I am Miss. Tidy. My bed is made every day- if its not, I feel unorganized. I just got done finished cleaning up my entire room and even vacuuming the carpets. This is a new record for me, I have live in this apartment for almost 2 and a halfish months- and I have already vacuumed. Not once in my college house did I vacuum without being asked, or just have the urge to tidy up for no reason.

Maybe these cleaning impulses are coming from a maturing place or just a metamorphosis- but whatever it is- I can honestly say, I have no idea where its coming from. Maybe maturing? I have no one to impress- my boyfriend already likes me- my parents are aware of my clutter- my grandparents live too far away, and all of my friends just look the other way. So there is no one to show my room off to other than me.... Its a puzzle to me.

The cleaning is almost as puzzling as the cooking. I have never liked to cook. My idea of cooking was a boul of cereal, and all of a sudden, I am chef Ramsey. I made banana bread on Monday night just because. Maybe without knowing, I wanted the banana bread to go along with my tidy room.

Who knows- but these changes are freaky. Not bad changes... just very interesting....Maybe they are because of my 23rd birthday coming up- maybe my body is telling my brain to get my stuff together- start to actually know where to find things. Who knows, but its freaky.

At this point, I am just going to go with it. At least I know I will be eating in a clean kitchen.

Peace, love and new cravings,

b

To be loved.

I guess this is the time of my life where real discovery happens. The point where I learn who I really am and what I really like. Also, this is the point of my life where I need to learn to compromise. Being together with someone else, being someone's girlfriend- means compromise, something I have never been good at.

For 22 years, I have never really had to make compromises with someone else- worry about someone else's needs and actually want to put someone else's needs before mine- until now. I am not stubborn, just have tendencies to like things the way I like them- cook with olive oil, use a specific kind of laundry detergent, sleep on a certain side of the bed, and watch certain late night talk shows. Maybe these little reasons are why I never let boys past a particular point in my life, because I didn't want to have to alter the way I went about daily life- until now.

This discovery happened 2 nights ago- over something simple: the type of milk to drink. My entire life I have drank skim milk. For health reasons- its less calories and fat, and taste reasons- yes it might taste like water, but I don't feel like I am drinking straight from the cows utter. Just a personal opinion. My boyfriend went to the store to pick up some things to make for dinner- he's a much better cook than I am and actually enjoys doing it (I do the dishes and he cooks, its a good trade off). He noticed that the milk I had in my refrigerator had expired and decided to pick some up (very thoughtful and amazing)- but since his entire life he has drank 2% milk and he knew I drank skim, he made the compromise and bought 1%. Now any normal girlfriend would find this very thoughtful and sweet and not make a deal out of it- but seeing as I am never really normal- I decided to go to the store and buy a little carton of skim milk just for me- without thinking anything of it. I figured, he will drink the 1% and I really only use it in coffee and tea, so what does it matter?

Well, it mattered- we can drink different milk, no big deal, but the point that I did not even consider compromising- only thought about myself made me realize that its not all about what I like anymore- I have to take what he likes into consideration.

Its a very comforting feeling that I am not alone- that someone takes the time to think about me before making decisions and has my best interest at heart- that I have someone else to care about instead of myself- this is the feeling that I have pushed away my entire life- the feeling of letting someone else in- letting someone else care and someone else know what I like and don't like. Its a freeing feeling, not to keep everything bottled up in side.

I guess this is what its like to be loved. Why I pushed this away for 22 years is beyond me, but now that I understand what it feels like, I understand- I just get it.

Lesson learned:

1% milk isn't half bad....

peace, love and compromise,

b

Beers and the MARTA Bus

While I lived in New York, riding the subway system was my only mode of transportation (minus the few cab rides). The trains came every few minutes and I never really thought twice about riding them.

The public transportation system in Atlanta is called MARTA. The train system consists of 4 lines, 2 that run north to south and 2 east to west. Unless the place you are going is directly on the line, you must take a bus to get where you are going. Seeing as this would consist of almost ALL places in Atlanta, taking public transportation is a pain in the butt. Atlanta is very car friendly with alot of places to park, and once you are in the neighborhood you want to be in- everything is walkable- downtown, midtown, the highlands, ect. (the list goes on).

There is nothing wrong with taking the MARTA train. Its how I get to the airport, to my boyfriends apartment if I don't want to drive, baseball games and almost all concerts/special events in the city. If it were possible, I would take the MARTA train everywhere. I think public transportation is amazing: it saves money, time and is good for the environment.

But there is one issue with MARTA. That one issue is: The MARTA bus. No one takes the MARTA buses unless its to a special event. YOU WILL NEVER FIND ME ON A MARTA BUS UNLESS ITS FOR A SPECIAL EVENT- EVER. Sorry, i might sound like a snob, but I'd rather walk.

Case in point: Yesterday, my boyfriend, a co worker, his friend and myself went to the East Atlanta Beer Festival. If you know nothing about Atlanta, East Atlanta is a mix of hipsters and the ghetto- a very interesting mix. Its kinda of near the airport.

But anyways- imagine this, myself and crew get off the MARTA train to transfer to the bus (which I wanted to take a cab, but was overruled). We hunt down the bus stop because none of us have ever attempted to catch the MARTA bus- asked a man for directions and then he proceeded to tell us he was poor and asked for money in return for directions, and finally, get successfully onto a bus to the event. We get on the bus and stick out like sore thumbs. Any one could plainly see that we did not belong. Well, almost didn't belong, until we saw a few other festival goer's in the back of the bus. All wearing sun dresses and baseball hats- could totally tell they were going the same place we were.

We made friends with the other group and after a 10 minute ride on the MARTA bus, the driver announced, "Beer festival, you kids in the back, this is your stop." He clearly knew we didn't belong as much as we did. The festival was so much fun, beautiful weather, fun friends and a lot of beer- the best Saturday.

When it came time to go home.... Lets just say that we took cabs. Riding the MARTA bus after dark really wasn't in the cards for us.

Lesson learned:

MARTA trains are ok- think twice about the buses.

Peace, love and public transportation,

b

family vacations

Well, I just got back from a weekend in Hilton Head. It was just another vacation with the family, but as my mom described it, its one of our 'last' family vacations with just the four of us. She explained that now that my brother and I are getting older, we both will have extra appendages coming on vacations with us, its just the way of life. She said, 'well, you will want your boyfriend to come sometimes and your brother will want his girlfriend (whoever it may be) to come with us- so its one of the last ones, just us.' She explained to me that our family dynamic will change, it will shift from the small unit of us, to extras.

But here's the thing, the 'extras' she is referring to, in my mind- is just the expansion and continuation of life. Its cool to watch us grow and evolve. The main dynamic that will change is that we will need 3 rooms in the hotel/condo instead of just 2. And with dinner reservations, just need a few extra chairs. In my opinion, the growth of numbers is good- better than a decrease. At least we all still like each other enough to want to go on a vacation- just the 5 of us (plus the dog of course) for 4 and a half days, just us and actually have a great time. Out little family unit will never break apart, but just expand.

But other than the title of the 'last' family vacation- this trip was much needed. I though about it, and since I moved back to Atlanta from New York, I have not skipped a beat- jumped straight into a new job and a new life. This was my first time to breathe, take everything in.

But of course- our family vacation wouldn't be a family vacation without a few hiccups- it is an Unger vacation of course. Not one meal went smoothly- horrible service, horrible seafood (we were at the beach!! you would at least think the seafood would be good), undercooked food, over salted food (fingers swelled into balloons)- needless to say, we got a few free meals. We went to the nicest restaurant on the island, apparently. Well, the 'nicest' restaurant experience went like this: it started with my brother taking an 'oyster slider shot' (basically bloody mary mix with an oyster in a shot glass) and spitting the entire shot back in the glass after trying to swallow it. Then the salads came- those were fine, how bad can some lettuce and dressing be messed up anyways? But then came the main course.

My dad, brother and myself were served first. The presentation was nice, but then it all went down hill from there. My mom was not served for about 10 minutes after the rest of us. She told us to start without her. My meal was fine, just a stuffed portabella mushroom, not much to screw up there. My brother had shrimp gumbo, again, pretty standard. My dad had mahi mahi- raw mahi mahi. Yes- with sushi, mahi mahi can be raw, but this was not sushi. Once my dad discovered his meal was raw, then out came my mom's meal (finally) she had fish as well....

But when she ordered the fish, she didn't think it would come out basically the way they get it straight out of the ocean, still breathing... (no, it was not really breathing, but it might as well been.. the fish was raw, straight from the ocean). After her fish was brought out raw, we were done. The meal had already lasted for 2 hours and this was the last straw. My dad asked the waiter to send the manager over. My dad retold our entire dining experience to the manager and all he had to say was, 'I am so sorry, we have had a few tables tonight walk out- the meal is on us. I am truly sorry.' This was not the reaction we were expecting from him. Clearly he knows that his restaurant sucked- so much for being the best restaurant on the island.

The only meal that we could count on being delicious and editable was breakfast- we ate at a little local breakfast spot with the BEST omelets and friendliest staff. The waiters were genuinely happy to be working there. I think the staff loved their jobs because the manager of the restaurant actually did the same work as the waiters, she brought out food and helped out wherever needed, seeing that kind of work dynamic was really nice. If I were ever to open a restaurant, thats how I'd do it: everyone takes part to make the business run.

Even the manager from the 'best restaurant on the island' from the night before agrees with me. How do I know? We spotted him at breakfast this morning before we headed back home.... Clearly he cannot even eat breakfast at his own place.

Overall, despite the bad food, our family vacation was great. My mom and I shopped up a storm and my brother and dad played plenty of golf. We all baked in the sun on the beach and went for long walks in the mornings. Never would I replace any of our family vacations, because really- they rock. If I wasn't in my family and saw us on vacation, I would want to be apart of us. Everyone loves their families, but for some reason, I love mine a lot- and we have a good time- makings of a great vacation. Who ever gets to be added to those 'expanded' vacations, aka my boyfriend and my brothers girlfriend are pretty lucky- the vacations never see a dull moment.

Peace, love and so many more vacations,

b

9 years, 7 months.

I know I have told you all about my personal relationship with the Senator of Georgia since the age of 12. Our relationship started with the September 11th attacks on the United States. I wanted to make a difference and he helped me get the money I raised to the President of the United States. Seeing as our country has finally succeeded in finding and killing Bin Laden- I decided to write a note to my favorite State Senator and though I would share with you guys....

"Dear Johnny (Yes, I call our State Senator by his first name... He told me I can call him whatever I want, and to me- hes just Johnny),

Considering the reason we met was because of Osama Bin Laden and his attacks on the United States- he was the reason I wanted to help and raised what I could as a 12 year old in 8th grader- I felt it fitting and proper that I say thank you.

Not only do I want to say thank you to you for all your hard work- and for helping the 12 year old version of me to get the money I raised to where it could help and instilling the idea in my mind that if I tried hard enough and pushed as much as possible, I can do anything; but because you have the direct line of communication to everyone in Washington as well as- I want you to pass my thank you and gratitude along.

In the past 10 years- I have gone to high school, graduated from college, moved to New York City for 6 months and now moved back to Georgia. I have held 2 corporate jobs and continue to strive for more. In the past 10 years, I have received my drivers license, turned 18 and gained the ability to vote in the 2008 presidential elections. I turned 21 and gained the ability to drink legally. I have worked for and raised money for camp Kesem (a camp for kids who parents have had or have cancer), and I have continued to try and make this world a better place. In the past 10 years, I have broken 4 bones, gotten my tonsils and wisdom teeth removed, my dad had cancer, my brother graduated from elementary school, middle school, high school and now onto college, and my mom has never given up on trying to make a better life and never has once stopped working. My brother has now survived 2 natural disasters: the floods in Georgia and the recent tornadoes in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. My grandfather passed away and there have been 8 additions to our extended family. In the past almost 10 years, my life has taken shape. In the almost past 10 years, I went from a 12 year old 8th grader, to a now 22 year old (almost 23 in June) semi-adult, still searching for a purpose and a right way.

Today, I now know that I can still search for that purpose, with public enemy #1 gone- a little bit of me knows I can keep going, if the United States as a whole can see a little shining light of victory, so can I. Even though I will never know a world without security at the airport or medal detectors, I do know a world where there are always people striving for a better place.

In the past almost 10 years (9 years, 7 months to be exact), my life has changed and progressed- but none of this would have been possible without you. And now, today, the man hunt is over. The number one public enemy has been taken out- one step closer to justice and maybe finally putting some issues to rest.

No one knows what will happen in the future- but for today, I wanted to say an extra special thank you- for everything that you do. And if you can pass on my thanks to the president and everyone else who works hard to protect our country, that would be be great. Just like when I was 12 years old, I know that the way to get my message heard is to start with the people who believe in me. And Johnny, since I was 12 years old, I have taken you as someone who believed in me and made some of my aspirations possible. So thank you.

As always, I will continue to do what I can to make this world a better place and do my part, because as today has shown me, you guys are still doing your part.

Thank you always, and God Bless America.

-Brandi"

Lesson Learned:

Can't forget that if I push hard enough- things will get done.

Peace, love and 9 years, 7 months- justice,

B

riding out storms

Finally my boyfriend has moved to Atlanta for the summer. After all the waiting and anticipation- its happened. And him being here has far exceeded my expectations. Instead of having to plan an entire jammed packed weekend, knowing that in 2 days I wouldn't see him for a few weeks- we can now take our time. Do things as they come and finally just be. I can have the though process of us now just being together, adding him into the mix of my crazy life and its so great.

All the things we can do now are endless and this is what we waited 4 months for: we waited for the 'see you later tonight'- or the 'want to meet for lunch'- or the 'lets do nothing and watch movies.' I honestly could go on and on with lists of things that we can do now, and right now- its just right.

But of course his move was not easy- seeing as he is apart of my life, of course nothing could go smoothly. The day he had planned on driving all of his stuff down happened to be the day that the huge storms that had been tearing apart the middle section of the country was moving through the south. He reassured me that he would drive safe and use his best judgement- which he did- but the original 8 hour drive, turned into a 14 hour extravaganza.

Of course he was calm, cool and collective- he told me he was fine. In my mind, all I saw was his car being picked up by one of the tornado and thrown across the Tennessee mountains. That day had already been hectic for me, my younger brother goes to the University of Alabama, in Tuscaloosa- where if you have seen the news, you would know that the entire city was torn apart. My mom had called me asking if I had heard from my brother- she explained that a tornado had hit there and she wanted to make sure he was ok. For a good 3 hours, we all were unsure if my brother had safely survived the horrific tornado. His cell phone service was out and he wasn't responding to text messages, which is unlike him- setting off a small panic in my mind. Thank the heavens, he was fine- but after that 3 hour wait to hear from my brother- the only thing I though about was my boyfriend-he was driving right down the route the storms were taking.

In his 14 hour trek- he stopped a few times to wait out tornado warnings, and he was pretty much free and clear once he got out of Tennessee- but the second he got inside the state lines of Georgia- the stand still traffic started- all due to the debris from the storms. He was stuck on the highway, with his car off, for 4 hours- literally, stand still traffic. He had told me he pulled together all his food and drinks he could find in his car and tried to figure out how long he could survive. In those 4 hours, I did nothing but stare at the TV- not really understanding what show I was watching, only thinking about him, stuck on the high way, in the middle of no where- with his car full of all his belongings- just sitting.

14 hours later- 4am on Thursday morning- he made it safely. Tired and a bit worn down by the weather, but he was safe.

Of course there is no smooth transition in my life and it seems that my roller coaster style spills over to the people I surround myself with- but then again, thats what makes life an adventure- and now he has been introduced to the crazy ups and downs of my life. Its quite a ride.

But, all in all, the 4 month wait and the 14 hours I waited for him to get here was totally worth it.

Lesson Learned:

If you are patient and ride out the storms, good things will always come in the end.

Peace, love and Georgia welcomes its new resident,

b

Decoration Station

Now that all my belongings are in my apartment- it is time to get furniture, make my room my own. My style has a tendency to be sort of a hodge podge. If left to my own devices, the living space would be a rainbow of bright colors with no rhyme and reason of why they are matched together. When I go shopping for decorations, I do not have a common theme with colors, I like them a. Sky blues, lime greens, chocolate brown, highlighter yellow and daisy yellow- the list of random colors I would want in my room and space is endless.

But as a some sort of emerging 20-something, I at least want my room to sort of match now, have a common theme. In high school and college, my walls were filled with notebook paper splattered with markers, along with rip outs from magazines and pictures of my friends at the time. Same goes for college, with additions like sorority composites and paddles. But now, what do I do? I still want to have my friends pictures around and the pictures that I have drawn hung up- so what is there a 20-something to do?

frames, frames, frames. For me, frames are the new tape. Just stick whatever picture I want into a brown colored frame, and it matches.

A good friend went furniture/decoration shopping with me yesterday. She has always had a knack of finding a theme and sticking to it. Everything she touches and arranges just looks nice and put together- no effort involved. Me, this is a different story- so I decided to bring her along for my adventure, hoping her talents would rub off on me.

Now, her talents didn't rub off on me, but she was there to tell me no. I would pick up a picture and say, "Oh my gosh, I love this, its so me." and all she would do was look at me, like I was a bit insane and say, "its cool, but it doesn't match." That was the indicator to put the picture down and move on to the next one.

Of course, I am still me- and purchased some things that are out there, but those items are what make the room mine. But for the most part, I have to say that slowly, the room is coming together and at some point, it will be finished.

Lesson Learned:

decorating takes time- and for me, I need help.

peace, love and progress,

b

Live and Learn

Yesterday, I learned a VERY important lesson. This is not a lesson that you can learn young or prepare for. This is a lesson that just comes along with time.

The lesson: moving just down right sucks and is a pain in the butt.

Apparently, my parents were watching me coordinate my move into the new apartment (which is AMAZING) and silently laughing. They knew that the way I was packing my boxes was not using up the right amount of space. They knew that I should not have waited until the night before to really packed up my stuff. They also knew that doing morning delivery for furniture is the better option that the afternoon delivery.

All of these facts they knew, I learned yesterday.

For starters, since my roommate and I could not even sign our lease until 10, I could not really schedule any delivery for the mornings. Don't moving companies know that not everyone is wide open and available from 7am to 12pm or 1pm to 6pm? Honesty day- people have other things to do-like my mom who was the one who waited around at my house for the movers to come, pick up my stuff and bring it to me at the apartment.

And then there was the mattress company. You would think that having something as simple as a mattress delivered would be simple. I give them my address and they say- ok great, its one queen mattress to move, no big deal. Wrong. Originally, they were suppose to deliver the mattress between 9 and 12. I had explained to them that I was unable to get into the apartment until 10 and that they would have to wait. The manager assured me that he would put my delivery in a later time slot for the morning and it would all work out great and he guaranteed me an easy move. Yea, he lied. The delivery guys showed up at the complex right at 9:00am. not 8:55, not 9:03- 9:00 on the nose. I tried to stall them, make them wait around until 10. I told them I was coming and be there soon- every excuse in the book, my car needed gas, I got pulled over, there were baby ducks in the road- but it was no use, the man told me that they would come back later. He told me that I was not the only one on the delivery route. Clearly, I knew that- its not like I think I am the only person in the entire world that bought a mattress and had it delivered yesterday- but what I am big on is customer service and satisfaction, which got a HUGE thumbs down. When he said later, I assumed noon or 3pm, not 9:45pm. Thats right, they showed up 13 hours later. And once they did show up, it took them 30 more minutes to get the bed upstairs. The most frustrating part of the entire thing: all I wanted to do was take a nap, the entire day, and for the entire day- I was bed-less

Now that I am done complaining....

Its over and done with, I moved in. And now that the moving part is done, the living part is SO great. Getting up this morning was a little weird though, something that will take time to get use to, but here it is- after almost a year of being out of school- I finally have my own space that is all mine. Not a space that was someone else's room (who still had their clothes in there) or a space that I knew was temporary.

For a whole year, I am here. Its an interesting sensation- knowing I have to stay put for awhile, but the feeling of relaxation that I am in my own spot that no one can take away from me is comforting, relaxing and just- happiness.

Lesson: Even though moving is painful and I hated it- Having my own place is amazing.

peace, love and time to decorate,

b

long distances.

Now that I am really moving into an apartment- lease signed for a year- I am realizing that my friendships I made in college, for the most part, are all going to be long distance. Like in real relationships, friendships need to be worked at. When we all graduated, I never thought in a million years that I would go a few months without talking to some of my closest friends. I never though that friendships needed to be nurtured- like any relationship. With no clear end to the distance between me and my friends- its hard to define the new friendship. The hardest part is the frustration that we can never go back to the way things were- its a part of life- progression- but the changing of friends (who are all amazing people and amazing friends)- just in all honesty, sucks.

The friends I had in college- best friends and semi friends- are the best people I have ever met and while living in Bloomington, we all were entangled in each others lives: from school, boys to clothes. We all shared everything- the drama and laughs. But now- without that web of life, every day interactions- or even weekly dinners, the bonds we all had on a day to day basis have loosened a little bit. There is a gap between the dream life of college and real life of what ever city we all live in. For me, most of my friends are all up in Chicago. By choice, I do not live there (I am so over the cold... thats the only reason)- but how am I suppose to keep up with their lives when they are all together and I am apart? Visa versa is the same- my stories do not quite make sense, because they don't know any of my new friends or the new places I am going.

The hardest part of it all is knowing, most likely, we will all never be living the same lives again. But whats even harder is finding how to make the friendships last. One thing I do know- they are friendships worth keeping, and figuring out how to evolve the friendships is worth it.

I just feel like a big theme of my life at the moment is long distance- long distance friends and long distance boyfriend. The long distance will end soon, and hopefully just be considered a plane ride- just a distance, get rid of the 'long' part. Find a way to feel closer, even with the distance.

Lesson learning:

all relationships are work.

peace, love, and procrastinating on packing,

B

Where do I fit in

I am having an issue.

The issue is not something huge- or life altering- just an issue. I cannot figure out my niche at work.

When I worked in New York, my role was easy: The bright eyed kid right out of college who just moved into the big city. I asked a lot of questions and experienced everything for the first time.

But now- My role is evolving in the work place and finding where I fit in and what personality role I need to take is kind of difficult. My personality has always been loud- I ask a lot of questions, I always want to know why something is and I tend to be very personable. When I was an intern, that role was easy to play- Everyone saw me as the kid in the office- and that was that. It was ok for me to be a little on the unprofessional side, because I was the intern. What I noticed as an intern though- my superiors responded to that, in my eyes, they saw someone ready to learn, someone who would listen to what they had to say and possibly, their words would make a difference in my life.

But now-I feel like I am lost a little in limbo. My e-mails (in my mind) are a little awkward- just not the way I typically communicate to people. I know that I need to be more professional, but the issue I am having is where can I draw the line between 'professional' and 'me'?

When is it ok to relate to others with my own spunk? Yes, I want to be taken seriously- and gain the respect of my peers and superiors, but how can I show them who I am if I am awkward communicating with them?

This is one problem that they did not teach us how to solve in college: how to hold one's identity when moving through the working world. I do not want to lose my spunk- my 'brandi-ness', but HOW do I actually do that?

Lesson learning right now:

How to evolve my self- not change (just because I do not believe people can actually change... they can evolve- but you are who you are)- into the working person- How to relate to others in the work place. If only they taught this in college....

Its funny, I can be friends with almost everyone- because for the most part, I like everyone i meet- but how can I work with them too?

peace, love, and keeping that spunk always,

b

New Chapter...

So I think I have entered a third phase of my post-college life-

The first phase was denial. Aka the first 4 months- the summer right after. The summer where in the back of my mind I thought that August was going to roll around and magically, I would just be going back to school with all my friends- a stroke of fate would happen and I'd be back.

The second phase was run away. Aka moving to New York- 6 months. I moved away from home to try and find that happiness that I had in Bloomington. Find my own way- find out if my dreams would come true. I ran to New York because its also know as the "city of dreams" or as I came to know it, "the concrete jungle." New York was my escape- my excuse to try and find a way to be happy without school friends. All of those school friends mostly lived in Chicago and were having a great time- so possibly, I tried so hard to make myself look like I was having an amazing time- making friends, trying something new. Part of that statement is true- but another part of my has realized that I was putting on a front- trying to make myself seem happier than I was, knowing in the back of my mind, Home is where I am the happiest.

The third phase, the new phase, is reality. After almost a year out of college (a full year in May), have I realized that no one else matters. No body else's happiness can define my happiness. To have friends and to be truly happy- I have to be my own friend, and be happy with myself. I am finally there. I have accepted that life does go on after college-friends will drift, jobs will come and go, the seasons will change and years will still pass, and no matter what, life will go on. But this new phase, this reality phase, is not a bad one. It's actually kind of fun- the unknown.

One thing is for sure- I have finally come to a place within myself that realizes change is ok. It's scary for sure- but thats life- consistent change.

The fact that no day in real life is the same. I went from a birthday party Friday night to volunteering at a youth group convention on Saturday night-Sunday, to watching a full Sex and the City marathon with a good friend on Sunday shows me that although my best friends came from college- there are more friends to meet and new memories to be made. Holding onto the old memories is important, because they molded me into who I am now, but moving forward is what is most important.

And I have realized why I have not been blogging as much- it is because I do not really have a lot of frustration anymore. When I was younger- I had a huge problem with bullies. My mom decided it would be a good idea to send me to talk to a child physiologist (which now that I look at it- the best idea). My doctor told me instead of letting out my feelings on others, let my feelings out on a piece of paper- just let everything flow. And that is why I always put a pen to paper (or in this case, fingers to the keyboard) when I am upset. Only really in sad times did I ever write page after page in my journals. But when I was happy, there would be a short blurb that went like this:

"Dear Journal,

Swim practice was great today- and I went to the mall and bought a new hair clip. Its

really cool.

Love, Brandi

Which is why now, I have not been writing- Because I haven't had time to write because I am out enjoying everything going on.

In New York- I encountered a lot of situations that made me upset- I had some issues within my self that needed to be worked out, and my way of getting out my frustrations: writing. But now, those frustrations I encountered in New York are not gone through alone. I have a support system around me. And, all around, not as many frustrations- I am all around happier. Something I am going to work on is learning to write when I am happy, share the fun things with you all, instead of only the complications. Because recently, I have been loving where I am in this third phase, really loving the reality, instead of day dreaming of being back in college.

So my challenge to myself:

Now that I am in this 3rd phase phase, do not stop writing. I need to show you all every aspect of myself, good, bad and different. Who knows, this could be like my "smile project" because havent you ever noticed that when you smile as someone, its hard for them not to smile back- with my new chapter- maybe I'll help someone smile back.. just a though.

Peace, love and loving the 3rd phase,

b

New Places

I have grew up on Atlanta. Well... sort of, more so in the suburbs... but still, Atlanta was my home base. And in the 22 years of growing up in the Atlanta metro area, I have never really explored the park down town. I knew it was a place that people went on nice days, and I knew it was fun, but I never seemed to venture down there.

Today was my first official day playing and exploring the park, and it has blown me away. In New York, central park was cool, but I always felt like I could never get a grip on the park: totally different back in Atlanta. Maybe its because I feel like I belong in this city more, or maybe it was the 70 degrees and clear blue skies- whatever it was, I just felt like this park was calling my name. The park is also going to be my official debut of my kickball talents. To make new friends, I am continuing on my friend dating, but doing it through a league- we play every Sunday and then go to the bar to drink. The perfect way to make friends- sports and booze. The easiest way to make friends.

Because I grew up in the Atlanta area, I thought I knew everything- well, clearly I am wrong. One main reason I know everything is because now that my boyfriend will be spending the summer in Atlanta, he is trying to get a grip on the city, and he asks me questions, asks where things are or how to get places and I have NO clue. So having him so curious about where everything is forces me to explore more and actually take the effort. Without him asking- I wouldn't even care to look.

Another concept I discovered this weekend: beer drinking at a brewery. If you have never had Sweetwater beer- you need to. Your life will be rocked- believe me. I can now confidently say that I have tried EVERY one of their beers- and all exceeded my expectations. Plus, as the brewery, I got a free glass with my $8 dollar entry fee and 6 beer tickets (which ended up being about 10 tickets between myself, my boyfriend and a few friends, because people thought that we looked thirsty and would just hand us their tickets.)- totally worth the $8 and 15 minute drive.

This weekend just showed me- there are plenty of places left for me to discover. Game on...

Peace, love and still new places,

B

PROMISE!!!

I promise to write to you all tonight. Swear, cross my heart. Clearly I have been more busy at work... no time to write during the day- and busy at night creating a life. If someone would like to donate an i-pad or mini computer, that would be greatly appreciated so I can write on the go. But I know it seems like I have left the blogging world- which some of you predicted- but I promise, and I take my promises very seriously- that I have not left yall. More so- I am collecting experiences to report back to you guys.

For example: The time my boyfriend made me cry this weekend when he was making me clean out my childhood room. Yea, thats right- tears streamed down my face when I was forced to give away my Tigger stuffed animals because I don't need them anymore. He told me that they 'would make some little kid very happy.' What about making me happy- that stuffed animal makes me very happy! And when he told me that I will never wear some college/high school clothes again and I needed to give them up- I wanted to punch him in the face. Clearly I didn't, and he was being mean out of caring- but still, what if one day I need those stuffed animals or clothes from high school? He will feel bad then.

Lesson Learned:

I don't want to be a pack rat- but now I understand why people are. But also, I understand what my mom meant when I was younger and she said she had no time- free time is hard to come by. Which is another reason people become pack rats- they just don't have time to throw it away.... Interesting thought, isn't it?

Peace, Love and I SWEAR no abandonment- just the blogs might come a few times a week and not every day,

B

Whirlwind

So, I know you all are probably wondering, "now that Brandi moved back to Atlanta, she is back in her groove, back to the normal. Now that she is back, nothing new or exciting will ever happen to her again." Yea... well... surprise, you are wrong!

Now that I am back, my life has never moved so fast, had so many changes and been happy throughout the whole time- ever. My job is incredible. Finally I am in a position with support. A position that other people are rooting for me to succeed and rooting for me to progress. I see a future progression- future growth and a start of a possible career that I never saw in New York. I go to work every morning excited for what will happen next. Yea, the hour-ish commute kinda sucks still (but only 6 weeks more until I move into my new apartment!)- and yea, I am not reading as much, but I am excited to go to work and I am not standing squished between two over sized, smelly men.

Another large change in my life has been the very fast progressing relationship with my boyfriend. I was back in Bloomington, Indiana visiting him this past weekend, he was in Atlanta seeing me 2 weekends ago and he is making his way back to Atlanta this coming weekend and the weekend after that. Let's just say that he is great. Him and I have passed that mushy stage- onto the real life part and even closer to the real life relationship when the long distance that we are in now will be confined into one city. Its coming closer and I cannot wait. He has been a big part of my support system.

Another change: I have FINALLY started working out on a regular schedule again. Walking the dog with my mom in the morning and stopping at the gym on the way home from work or after going for drinks. Finally, I am not eating my way through a city, and my jeans are thanking me every day.

And finally- on a more materialistic though: I am able to live here. I finally got my first real paycheck and realized- with actual fact how much more money I am making and how much more I am able to live here. Instead of having to dig into my savings, I can live on my paycheck: pay my loans, pay my future rent, pay my bills, pay for things that come up, and finally still be able to do some fun things (like a beer fest that I went to 2 weeks ago). Just all around- not having to worry about money as much really does make life a lot less stressful.

I am not saying that money can buy happiness, AT ALL.

But what I am saying is that money can make life easier and easier to find happiness. Just a realization that I never thought I would admit.

Lesson Learned:

Having a support system makes all the difference: in life, in relationships and financially. With all three, theres no stopping me.

Peace, Love, and I promise to write more and find the time... its fine, I will just be more tired,

B

Jeep Wave

All the way through high school, I drove my dads '95 soft top jeep wrangler. I loved that jeep not only because driving with the top down, doorless during the beautiful spring, summer and fall was amazing, but the culture that went along with driving the jeep made it extra special. There is a 'jeep club' exclusive for jeep wrangler drivers only. A simple wave to another jeep driver lets you know they are apart of the club. Apart of the enjoy life and drive a jeep club. Yes, clearly their advertising of the Jeep Life worked on me, but really, seeing that kind of happiness between jeep drivers is just comforting- knowing that driving a Jeep just makes life seem a littler happier.

I almost wish that everyone could be apart of the jeep club. Right now, as I type, Diane Sawyer is reporting about the unrest in the Middle East. She is speaking about the one week celebration of victory in Egypt, and the revolution starting Bahrain. These people are fighting for their rights- and here I am, talking about a jeep wave. How messed up is that? The world is on edge, all eyes focused on the middle east- protesters being beaten, killed, journalists attacked- men, women and children looking on waiting to see what will happen to their country, to their future and to their freedom.

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason- but what is the reason for all the unrest? What is the reason for all the problems and all the unhappiness. Life is not suppose to be this hard. Was there ever a time that everyone was happy? In my mind- yes, when we were cave men, before the invention of fire- when people just were.

Questions of the world that will never be answered until they are played out. I guess all I can do is keep forming opinions to make thing better. Make people smile. Make people realize that maybe life can be easier if they just let go- everyone just accept. Acceptance and understand.

I am not big on politics or policies. I don't understand them and I never really have. I believe in as long as you are happy and allow me to be happy and don't get in my way of happiness, then we're all good. Its an elementary thought I know, but it works for me and I am a happy person generally- just don't quite understand why everyone else can't.

If everyone can find their 'jeep wave' then maybe we can all get along... But who knows.

What I do know is this:

With everything going on, and all the stress in the world- its scary. I am scared and nervous, but want to do something to help. Just don't know what.

Peace, love and Jeep wave to the world,

B

Valentines and Name Plates

Today was a defining day in two ways.

First: my first real Valentines day. I got flowers delivered to me at my desk that were beautiful. Not only was it my first real Valentines day not only getting something from my parents, but it was the first time I had a boy send me flowers since Junior year of high school when some creep-o decided he wanted me to be his girlfriend without telling me. Literally, he showed up at my house with flowers, expecting out of the blue for me to be his girlfriend because he bought me flowers- but typically, being in a relationship requires verbal exchanges and since we had never spoken before... that kind of made it hard to let him be my boy friend. So really, today was the first time and loved every second of it.

Second: I finally got my own name plate. At my first job, there was no way to declare my desk because no one ever gave me a name plate. Usually the simple plaques are standard with your name and title. But at my first, they did not quite see it as necessary. Well, after 5 at my new job, I got a name plate! Its made out of a cd,which is really creative. But its not how cool it is that matters- its the fact that I have my own desk, my own area with MY name on it. Something so small as a name plate has made this whole move seem like I am starting a life. It's nice to feel like I am wanted in my office and appreciated. It makes my job feel like there is more of a future in a career. Just the small things in life.

Also... on another note, I signed a lease! I will finally be moving out into my own place with a friend of mine on April 20th. Figuring out my small bank accounts to pay for an apartment is so much easier when my rent isn't through the roof. I signed a year lease for half of what i was looking for in New York and twice the size. Having me space, warm weather, friends and a good job that I love is what I moved for.

Lesson Learned:

The thought always counts, and flowers will always bring a smile.

Peace, Love and defining days,

B

turn around

What a week! there is no other explanation.

A week ago, 7 days, I was sitting alone, trapped inside my aunts house waiting for my ride to the airport. The weekend was freezing and raining and just plain gross. And today- well, at the moment, I am sitting on the back porch of my house in a long sleeve shirt and gym shorts- just got back from a run actually. This is the only thing I have ever wanted- good weather. I know for a fact that the weather is not always perfect, but its mid-winter and amazing out.

The Turn around I have experienced this week is incredible. I just feel like I am back where I belong. Who would have thought that in 6 months, I would have had 2 jobs- lived in 2 cities and had the encounters that I have had. Following my gut has not failed me yet. There is no lesson in school that teaches you to do what makes you happy. If my teachers would have just told me that- then life in general would be a lot easier. Because when I am happy- everything else just falls into place, and I don't think I am the only one who feels like this.

On top of the great week of settling back into Georgia, my boyfriend came in to visit. He was here for 4 days and every time we see each other, it gets harder and harder to say goodbye until the next visit. I guess this is what they say about long distance relationships suck. But in the suckiest of situations- he does a great job of making it seem like the weeks go by faster until the next time. It's funny- recently, things just make sense. He is my first relationship and I might be a little bias, but he is the best. He doest take my crap, which I tend to dish out, and he tells me when I am being dramatic and still wants to hang out with me anyways. So I guess saying that, I'll keep him around. 12 more days until I see him next- taking a trip to Indiana and 12 days can't come soon enough.

Lesson Learned:

Everything works out.

Peace, Love and happiness,

B

Fresh Start

After changing a taxi tire, an hour long crying fest at the delta ticket counter, forking over $340 for my luggage that was suppose to be free and a two and a half hour flight, 4 hours of unpacking and 5 hours of sleep... I MADE IT- made it home and made through my first day of my new adventure!

All the drama of yesterday is over with. Yes, I will be writing to Delta telling them they need to change their website to be more clear. No, I was not planning on spending $340 dollars for my 2 under 70lbs bags- nor was I aware that they were clarified as over weight, because Skymiles Medallion members are allowed 2 bags up to 70lbs for free- and my ticket was booked under a Skymiles Medallion member number, but apparently, the memeber has to be traveling in the same reservation. None of this explained clearly on their website. If Delta wants to avoid complications with travelers, they should explain themselves clearly. They have a new advertising campaign out now that focuses on how Delta employees are what make the company, that their employees know how to 'put themselves on the other side of the counter.' Well, I would like to say- sorry Delta, your LGA employees have no clue what it's like to be on the other side of the counter. Neither do they care about customer service or how they make their customers feel. I am not the type of person to show up to the airport with 2 over sized bags and pay $340- if I would have known it was going to cost that much, I would have shipped more stuff and had my suitcases weigh less than 50lbs, like normal travelers.

It does not matter anymore, because I made it back to Atlanta. But if you happen to know someone who works at Delta, or you work at Delta- tell them to watch out for my angry letter. It is coming- and I will try everything in my power to get their website changed- just on principal.

But anyways, just typical that this would happen to me. I should have known when my taxi ride to the airport showed up with a flat tire that day that my travels would not be easy. Yet again, my life never ceases to amaze me.

Now that I have been home for 24 hours, I have finally unpacked all of my things into my new room in my basement and haven't felt this relaxed in 6 months. I really feel like I am happier just being here. And now I can finally say, with full confidence, that I made the right decision. I listened to my gut and that gut feeling was the best for me to follow. No mater what happens from here on out, I can say that moving back here was the best decision for me- I did what makes me happy. And even in 24 hours, I have felt a turn around.

Lesson Learned:

Find what makes you happy- and if your gut grumbles to tell you something- follow it.

Peace, Love and full nights of sleep,

B

theme songs...

Also... songs always describe my life the best... and currently, here are the 3 songs that spell everything out...

New Yorks not my home:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USVvxcaa4OA

Onto the next one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WM1RChZk1EU

Welcome to Atlanta:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5W73HaVQBg

Peace, love and soundtracks of my life,

B

Here We Go...

The day has finally come. Moving day. There was a point about 2 days ago where I was second guessing my decision about moving. But now that the day is here- all I can say is, Peace Out New York, its onto the next one.

I do have to thank you, New York: Thank you for the experience and learning situations you put me in. From crying on 5th avenue about not getting a job I desired to dating the intense Russian, Boris, you have taught me that everything happens for a reason. Some things happened at the beginning of my trip that I could not understand and that seemed like the end of the world, but after time, realized that I couldn't have gotten where I am not without the difficulties from before.

No where else could I have seen magic tricks on the E train or ice skated to work. The weather has been crazy since the first day, even before I moved here but came up for an interview in July- it was the hottest day on record in 20 years. Then came the tornado in Forest Hills that I missed by about 30 seconds because I was still on the subway, that should have been my first sign to leave. After the tornado came the winter- and there is nothing else to say about this winter other than cold. New York, you have taught me that seasonal depression is real and for the rest of my life, I will never voluntarily live where the average temperature in the winter is below 40. The fall and spring here are beautiful, but those 4 months of winter and just too much for me.

I have learned that I need my space. The short time I was apartment searching, I convinced myself that sharing a studio with only a curtain separating my roommate and I would be ok- yea , not ok. Simple enough- I need my own personal space.

I have learned about what kind of friends I want in my life and what kind of friend I am. I have learned that to have a friend- you must be a friend too. There are so many people in this world that I cannot be best friends with everyone and there are just some people where being friends on the surface is good enough. But then again, there are friends who are unexpected. Friends that came back from my past and really made my life in New York complete.

I have learned that its ok to let people care about me, too. I have learned to let my guard down with a certain person and as scary as it is to let someone it, it feels good to just let go and let someone care about me. I have learned that with personal life, its ok to not seem tough all the time- because being tough and closed off is a lot of work .

I have learned that no one will look out for you other than yourself. In all aspects. There are people in my life that look out for my best interest, but they are not by my side all the time. As much as I have always wanted to see the best in people, New York has taught me to be a little more skeptical. This attribute will be good for me back in Atlanta- I am a little stronger because of it.

I have learned and continue to learn to like myself a little more every day. My mom keeps telling me that I need to learn to be happy with just being myself and not needing people around all the time. I do like myself- whoever I am. I am in a transition right now and 'myself' is a little of everything and a little undefined. But I'll find her eventually.

I have learned that the word no does not sit with me very well. People told me when I moved here without a job that I was crazy- that there was no way I'd get one. The fact they didn't believe in me drove me even more to find a job as fast as possible. And guess what- I win. I pushed myself even harder because people told me I couldn't. Well, I have done it twice now. I start my new job in Atlanta tomorrow.

The main thing I have learned living here: New York is not my home.I need to find where I am happy again- because this concrete city just isn't it. But its been a fun first stop on my adventure of life. Couldn't have started it off any better. So, thank you New York and to all my friends. Thank you for helping me through these 6 months. I know I haven't been the easiest person to deal with at times, but its life- its a learning process.

And, the point still stands, the city still smells to me after 6 months. I gotta get myself some fresh southern air. So off to Georgia I go. Don't think I will stop writing either- because my adventure can only get better from here- promise. I have even already started fighting with Delta and I am not even at the airport yet. Gotta love traveling. Delta and I have a love hate relationship- so we'll see how this goes...

peace, love and see ya new york- onto the next one,

B

Bringing back the first day...

Most of you that have just started reading probably haven't read too far back. But seeing as this is my last day at my first job- I figured I would re-post my excitement from my first day about 6 months ago:

"Day one has come and gone. My outfit was picked out before I went to bed on Sunday (Even though I slept for about 4 hours total...) I woke up at the crack of dawn. I rode the subway during major traffic hour where personal space is unheard of and arrived at orientation 45 minutes before I needed to be there. I filled out forms and filed paper work that might as well be written in hieroglyphics (they really should make tax forms user friendly, or at least dumb them down a little bit so the normal teen-adult like me can understand what they are talking about). I only brought a copy of my passport when I really needed the actual physical passport, so its being overnighted by my mom so I can be put into the system (a blip that of course that would happen to me...). I drank about 4 cups of very strong coffee because I did not get a lot of sleep last night. I wore my best trendy outfit and shoes that killed my calves and thighs by noon. I read more irrelevant material than I ever did in college (all syllabus weeks combined). I was given a desk with a phone, computer and notebook. But I was also not given a phone number, username, password or pen, making all the materials given useless. I was treated to lunch by a few of my supervisors. I sat through a meeting where I had no idea what was going on. I re-read the irrelevant information about 3 times until I knew the information backwards and forwards (I'll let you know if that information has anything to do with my actual job later). I took the subway home in rush hour and walked home in the poring rain with the cool purple umbrella they gave me. I can barley keep my eyes open. It's 8:30 and all I want to do is go to bed.

And guess what: I am loving every second of it.

This is what I wanted and couldn't ask for more. This job is going to be a perfect start for me. The people in the department are warming and welcoming. They actually like hanging out with each other and seem as if they enjoy working with each other as well.

From what I can see, this department is a place to grow, ask questions, learn, and excel. Who knows where I will end up or even what I will be doing for that matter. But what I do know is that I am suppose to be in this department- every tear and interview that I went through were all suppose to happen and I ended up right where I should have been the entire time.

Lesson Learned:

Bring original copies. of everything.

Peace, Love and purple company umbrellas,

B"

And now on my last day, I find it appropriate to show you guys my good-bye letter to the entire department:

" Dearest First Real Job Brandi Has Ever Had,

This will be Assistant Brandi's last e-mail to yall, as me, Assistant Brandi. I just wanted to thank all of you for such a great first job- I really have learned a ton from yall and absorbed everything. If only this office was somewhere that it didn't snow- like Miami or Australia....Ice skating in to work just isn't my thing. As many of you know, I am moving back to my home sweet home of Georgia on Sunday. I will truly miss all of you.

Seeing as the assistant position is a learning position for me being right out of college, here are a few things I have learned from working at First real job Brandi has ever had:

- Excel is the most important Microsoft system to learn.

-When ordering lunches, make sure to have it sent 15 minutes before the desired time.

-Copy machines really are the worst invention known to man. They work when they want and they do not care that there is a meeting in 3 minutes, it will do its job when it wants to.

-Instant messaging really is the easiest way to communicate in the office- no phone or walking necessary, but if you want something to get done- you still have to pick up the phone.

-I have learned to utilize all of my resources- and to ask myself, "have you tried EVERYTHING?"

-if you ever have a problem with UPS- go to the other assistant, they love her.

-The binding machine is my best friend. If it gives you problems, I'm sorry. It has a temper.

Those are just a few things I have learned here- but in all seriousness (I know my personality is far from serious, but still) Working with you all in this huge city has been the best learning experience so far in my 9 months out of college life and I will for sure keep yall in the loop of my next crazy adventure....

or you can read my blog too :) Maybe Seventeen will want to advertise on it....http://brandimax.blogspot.com/

Peace, Love and on to the next city,

Brandi"

Just funny and amazing how much I have evolved in the past 6 months. I do not believe that people ever really change, they are who they are: good, bad and different. But I do believe people can evolve into the person they are suppose to be and New York City has done this for me and so has working at Brandi's first real job ever.

Going to my last weekly Shabbat dinner at my girlfriends house tonight. We have created a nice little tradition and another tradition I will miss a lot. Every week (or almost every week) about 6 of us go to her house, drink wine, light candles and eat food. We do not necessarily do it for the religious aspect (although I do enjoy lighting the candles and singing the prayers), we do it for a sense of home. And the small sense of home I found in New York happens on Friday nights in her small 2 bedroom apartment in Murray Hill.

Just another thing I will miss added on to the list.

Peace, Love and times are changing :)

B