Here We Go...

The day has finally come. Moving day. There was a point about 2 days ago where I was second guessing my decision about moving. But now that the day is here- all I can say is, Peace Out New York, its onto the next one.

I do have to thank you, New York: Thank you for the experience and learning situations you put me in. From crying on 5th avenue about not getting a job I desired to dating the intense Russian, Boris, you have taught me that everything happens for a reason. Some things happened at the beginning of my trip that I could not understand and that seemed like the end of the world, but after time, realized that I couldn't have gotten where I am not without the difficulties from before.

No where else could I have seen magic tricks on the E train or ice skated to work. The weather has been crazy since the first day, even before I moved here but came up for an interview in July- it was the hottest day on record in 20 years. Then came the tornado in Forest Hills that I missed by about 30 seconds because I was still on the subway, that should have been my first sign to leave. After the tornado came the winter- and there is nothing else to say about this winter other than cold. New York, you have taught me that seasonal depression is real and for the rest of my life, I will never voluntarily live where the average temperature in the winter is below 40. The fall and spring here are beautiful, but those 4 months of winter and just too much for me.

I have learned that I need my space. The short time I was apartment searching, I convinced myself that sharing a studio with only a curtain separating my roommate and I would be ok- yea , not ok. Simple enough- I need my own personal space.

I have learned about what kind of friends I want in my life and what kind of friend I am. I have learned that to have a friend- you must be a friend too. There are so many people in this world that I cannot be best friends with everyone and there are just some people where being friends on the surface is good enough. But then again, there are friends who are unexpected. Friends that came back from my past and really made my life in New York complete.

I have learned that its ok to let people care about me, too. I have learned to let my guard down with a certain person and as scary as it is to let someone it, it feels good to just let go and let someone care about me. I have learned that with personal life, its ok to not seem tough all the time- because being tough and closed off is a lot of work .

I have learned that no one will look out for you other than yourself. In all aspects. There are people in my life that look out for my best interest, but they are not by my side all the time. As much as I have always wanted to see the best in people, New York has taught me to be a little more skeptical. This attribute will be good for me back in Atlanta- I am a little stronger because of it.

I have learned and continue to learn to like myself a little more every day. My mom keeps telling me that I need to learn to be happy with just being myself and not needing people around all the time. I do like myself- whoever I am. I am in a transition right now and 'myself' is a little of everything and a little undefined. But I'll find her eventually.

I have learned that the word no does not sit with me very well. People told me when I moved here without a job that I was crazy- that there was no way I'd get one. The fact they didn't believe in me drove me even more to find a job as fast as possible. And guess what- I win. I pushed myself even harder because people told me I couldn't. Well, I have done it twice now. I start my new job in Atlanta tomorrow.

The main thing I have learned living here: New York is not my home.I need to find where I am happy again- because this concrete city just isn't it. But its been a fun first stop on my adventure of life. Couldn't have started it off any better. So, thank you New York and to all my friends. Thank you for helping me through these 6 months. I know I haven't been the easiest person to deal with at times, but its life- its a learning process.

And, the point still stands, the city still smells to me after 6 months. I gotta get myself some fresh southern air. So off to Georgia I go. Don't think I will stop writing either- because my adventure can only get better from here- promise. I have even already started fighting with Delta and I am not even at the airport yet. Gotta love traveling. Delta and I have a love hate relationship- so we'll see how this goes...

peace, love and see ya new york- onto the next one,

B