High School. I mean Services..

For those of you who are not Jewish, or are Jewish and unaware of the date, the past 2 days have been Rosh Hashana, the New Year for the Jewish people. Typically, people go home and take the 1 or 2 days off work to attend services at the Synagogue they please. Spending time with family and friends and eating more food than necessary is how most people spend these holidays. For the past few years, it has been a toss up of where I would spend the holidays, either I would fly home for the few days and go to services in the Synagogue and Rabbi that I grew up with; or I would stay up in Indiana and attend services put on by Hillel held in a church with all my sorority sisters.

When I attend services back in Georgia, the routine is always the same, my family sits in the same left hand corner with the plastic chairs. This spot is known as 'the gang's' area. We have been sitting in this area for as long as I can remember. The services are always freezing and whispering is necessary, because Rabbi Lewis (no matter how many people are in the service) expect silence. God forbid if a cell phone rings- its like time stops and Rabbi gives the death stare. This is just the way he runs his service. I love those services, I sit with my mom and continue working on the friendship bracelet that has been taped in my high holiday prayer book since I was 8- every year the the same. Every year the Rabbi's sermons either stir up controversy or bring tears to everyones eyes- without fail.

When I attended services in Indiana, they were always short but always fun- sat with my friends, we took up a few rows of just our sorority- we all compared and contrasted how we do services in our different cities. Everybody sat in their cliques, SDT, AEPhi, ZBT, Sammy, AEpi, the scattered random Jews in other houses, then the GDI (Indipedents). We intermixed some, because for the most part, everyone knows eachother, but we all stuck to our own- judging everybody outfits, and traded gossip from the nights before hand. As girls, we always checked out the boys and were curious as to who the cute on the end was (because there would always be at least one boy we had never seen before who would ALWAYS be cute). But as for the actual holiday service, they were nice, Rabbi Sue would deliver a sermon that was semi meaningfl to our lives and all in all, tried to make the services seem as homey as possible.

Now- this year obviously is a little different. Since I am staying with my Great Aunt, naturally I attended her Synagogue for services. Going into the holiday, I was very optimostic because coming from Georgia and my Synagogue, I figured New York services and traditions would blow mine out of the water (I am in the hub of American Jews after all). I am not saying the services were not nice nor am I bashing them in any way- but let me just say- these services and clientel of people I am not use to. The average age of people in her Synagoge are either 80 or 30 (complete with little kids)- but people were talking (not whispering) the entire time- the lack of respect for the service, to me, was a little disturbing. I did figure out though, the reason people were talking in normal voices instead of whispering is because they are all older and their hearing isn't as good- so I am assuming that they cannot hear themselves and how loud they are- as well as the person listening cannot hear as well- a combination not good for religious holiday services. A good combination to let me hear every word they are saying. It's just not what I am use to.

Rosh Hashana is my favorite holiday- it gets me excited for the new year and I like to leave services, raring and ready for the new year. Not this year. I am excited none the less because the things in store for me just in this coming week are out of this world (I start work on Monday!) , but the excitement did not come from services. What I did get from the services is that being a good person is not necessarily important to these people in Forest Hills (and I am not saying all people, I am just saying from what I observed in Synagogue)- what is important is how much you have and how much you are willing to give it and how much you can flaunt it. Basically- high school all over again, just with more money.

Something that I am not use to anymore is being judged on status. I haven't been judged on status since High School, and when I graduated High School, I figured that it would never happen again- Surprise- I am clearly mistaken. My Aunt's synagogue is entirety based on how much money you have, how much money you give to the Synagogue and how much the Rabbi likes you. The amount of gossip I have been fed could top how full I was at last years thanksgiving. Not only was I uncomfortable with not being in serives that I was accustomed to, I felt that no one in this service really like eachother, everybody has the 'topper' issue- where everybody has to do better than the person sitting next to them. Its just not my style nor the kinds of people I would like to surround myself with.

Everybody has their likes and dislikes, and not everyone has to get along, but in a religious service, I feel that the focus should be on creating a real community and connection to whatever religion you choose. There was no genuine community that I saw, but then again, I could be wrong- We will find out next Saturday for Yom Kippur.

Lesson learned form my first high holiday as a real person:

Not every service will be like home.

Peace, Love, and Happy New Year,

B