Mentors and drinking more

After graduation, I was determined to find a mentor . Someone a few years older than me who could give me advice. Someone that I could go to, no matter what, and really be listened to and then in return, be given wisdom and knowledge from past experiences. This person would be able to relate to me on some level, and be someone who I strive to be. I was looking for someone to model myself after- to have a path and know that everything was going to be alright.

I have been trying so hard the past 19 months to find this person- and the mentor I have finally found has taught me that I cannot find someone to follow, rather, find someone to help me lead. Model myself after actions, not after a person. Because in this life- there is no one like me. I am the only one, so no reason to waste my life trying to be like someone else. Take tidbits instead from people who came before me and then use those lessons to succeed.

I searched in New York to find my mentor, only to come up with great friends, but no true mentor. I moved back to Atlanta, trying to cling onto people who had helped me with advice in the past to only realize I was being looked at as I once was- as the college girl ready to party, with no real expierance in life nor a worry in the world. Thats the issue I have found whit returning to my past, I am still looked at as the person I was before graduation- 19 months ago, as the new girl who was still learning. But now, 19 months after, I am a real girl now, ready to take on the world. With a slightly different view, but the same attitude.

Who I needed is someone who did not know my before. Someone fresh in my life, with no pre conceived notions, who only knows how hard I try now, and sees the potential that I have in me now. I have been lucky enough to find someone to confide in. And even though I am sure some of the advice and words given to me have been told to me before, but when they come this mentor, they sound differently and are backed with trust and confidence.

Words from this mentor recently has shaped my thinking in a way that I did not know possible. I have been pushed to do more, be greater and strive to run to the top.

I am sure that I will have many mentors in my life, no matter where I go or what I do- But I have now learned something very important:

A mentor will come into my life when I need them most, even if its not to dispense advice, a mentor is there for support and belief. And everyone needs someone to believe in them.

Also something very important I learned this week- work less, drink more. Apparently, I have been working too hard and taking things too seriously- so its time to loosen back up.

Peace, love and drinking with my mentor,

B

Global Warming...

A year ago this weekend was the huge ice storm that paralyzed the South.... people were stuck at home for a week straight with no way of driving because the roads were iced over. Today... a year later, I just got back from a walk in shorts and a sweat shirt, and was a little on the toasty side. The question, which is normal for the middle of January in Atlanta. Growing up, I expected it to be chilly with a high in the 40's or low 50's, but nothing like this, and clearly nothing like what it was last year.

What if the world is trying to tell us something, we need to take better care of her, or she is just going to keep playing tricks on us. Because of my boyfriend, I have started recycling and being more conservative about using plastics and products that are not good for the environment. But what else can be done? Public transportation needs to get better, and maybe, we all need to get outside more and enjoy everything the earth has to offer.... because according to the Mayans, the world is ending in less than a year. So gotta enjoy the year while it lasts.

Peace, love and going back outside,

b

I Miss Indiana

Every once in a while, I will miss it- I will miss my friends, miss the campus, miss my house, miss my city- I just miss Bloomington, Indiana.

I miss everything being available to me all the time....all my friends, if I didn't feel like hanging out with one group of friends, I could just change.

I think the thing I miss most about Bloomington, Indiana- is the steady unchange. Things don't change in a college town. Every year, new students come in, and although the faces change, the people dont.... thats what I miss the most. Bloomington, Indiana is predictable, safe, and will never let me down.

It's a little comforting to know that a group of friends and I could go to bloomington on our own, on a slow weekend, and have a great time- know what bars to go to and what drinks to order. What sushi place is the best and the cheapest, and where we can go for bar food. We know what running trail to take and how long it is. We would know what time things open and what time they close, we would know what route to take and how to avoid traffic hour, it would all come back naturally, like we never left.

I guess that is where Bloomington, Indiana should stay, as an unchanging memory... an unchanging memory that can be brought back to life every year or so- for one weekend...

Peace, love and the magical unchanging town,

B

New Year... new adventures

Its another new years eve.... yet again everyone has made a huge hype about where to go and what do to. I never understand why people are so concentrated on having the best new years ever, when a random night in july is usually the best night ever.

Tonight, my boyfriend, brother and his girlfriend will be venturing into territory that I have always wanted to explore- the peach drop in down town Atlanta. In 23 years of living in Georgia, i have always watched the peach drop on TV and wanted to go- so finally, this year, we are going to do it. I have heard that is an experience to have once, and only once, so I guess this is the year.

I have been thinking about this past year, where I was for new years last year-in Chicago, stranded with no clothes and staying at my new boyfriends mom's house- where I was living- in my great aunts house in queens, trucking though the WORST winter in 20 years Manhattan had seen- confused as to where I wanted to go and where I wanted to be. The things that have happened this year I could not even make up. My life has taken a 180 degree turn.

But now what? Have I settled too soon in a city that is too familiar? I am getting that itching feeling that I need an adventure. I had seen a physic a few months ago at a party. I have never really believed in physics, always thought they were full of crap. But one thing she did say to me, stuck pretty hard- she told me that there will be a big adventure coming up in my life within the next year, a life changing adventure that not even you saw happening. Whatever this adventure is- I am ready for it. Maybe its the fact that for 4 years in college, I moved every year, never living in the same room for more than 9 months- has the fast pace of college life made me unable to settle in a place for more than a year? A possible downfall?

Who knows- but on this new years eve- I am ready. I've got my winter cold all lined up as usual, cough with stuffy nose and ready to ring in 2012.

Someone once told me that a trait of a great writer is the ability to write everything- good adventures and bad, easy times and hard. I am still working on becoming a great writer- maybe a columnist? But for now, I will stick to the free lance gig's from my old job at Hearst- its been a cool addition to the cash flow (and seeing my writing on Marie Claire's website doesn't suck). I will become a great writer, in time, maybe not in 2012- but I will.

The past few days I have been thinking... what if I go back to school- get certified to become a child life specialist? Or a child counselor? I went to a child life specialist when I was younger, and she changed my life. I still have that itching to help others- make their life better in some way.

There's alot to come in 2012- so bring it on new year- its gonna be a wild one.

Peace, love and happy new years,

b

Sickly

I swore last time, about a year ago from today- that I would never throw up at work again, because no one likes a sick person or throw up.

Well... I guess I broke that promise. I felt perfectly fine when I woke up this morning (yes, a little hung over- drank a few glasses of wine with my mom at dinner, but nothing to hold me down). I went to the gym, took a shower, ate a granola bar and was on my way to work. About half way through my commute- I felt like a brick hit my throat. I was nauseous and felt dizzy. I considered stopping on the side of the road. Because the thought of throwing up in my car made me even more nauseous. But the more I drove, the more I felt dizzy and the more I coughed and felt like I would throw up- it was a viscous circle.

Thankfully, I made it to work- got right out of my car and dry heaved outside of my car... in the parking lot of work....real professional.

I figured I was already at my office, so I might as well grab my laptop and go right back home. But no- it's never that simple. The second I got into the building, a wave of nausea came over me, and I ran straight to the bathroom- and threw up.

Obviously I left work and came home, and now just feel like crap....still. So maybe I can keep my promise- I will NEVER throw up at work again... it's still frowned upon, just like it was a year ago.

Peace, love and resting,

B

Avoiding Traffic

Every city has traffic. This is a fact. And every driver gets frustrated with it. Well, yesterday- downtown Atlanta was basically in a grid lock by 5:15- a little earlier than usual, I suspect because of the Georgia Tech football game (why it was on a Thursday I can't tell you).

I had to be at the 4 seasons by 6:00- so I left with a few co workers at 5 to make the less than a mile drive to the hotel. We all knew it would take some time for the short drive. I get to the street the hotel is on, I am talking on the phone, thinking I knew where I was going. I pull into a driveway... that happened to be the wrong hotel- I was only one street off- the Four Seasons was only about a block away. There was a valet circle with a small driveway where hotels like to put really nice cars- now this drive way looked like it connected the two hotels. I could see the 4 Seasons, and getting back onto the actual street seemed impossible with the gridlock- so seeing I couldn't get back into traffic, I started driving down the small drive way. Driving down this driveway helped me avoid traffic and got me closer to the hotel I needed to be.

Everything was fine, until I almost got to the hotel- where there was a sign right in the middle of the drive way. I could't figure out why there was a sign in my way. And then it clicked- the "driveway" I had been riding on.... wasn't a driveway.. No, it was the sidewalk. Yes- I drove on the sidewalk in the middle of downtown Atlanta during the heart of traffic hour.

When I tried to get my car off the driveway, the fellow drivers gave me the worst looks and would not let me back into the traffic. Finally, someone was nice enough to let me back into traffic, where all i did was hop off and then tun right into the right hotel.

Thankfully there were no police officers around to watch my little adventure on the sidewalk, but I did learn a very important lesson- the sidewalks in Atlanta are big enough to drive on. So when the streets are jammed- I have an alternate route.

Peace, love and driving directions,

B

Wonderland

So I got a framed picture and on it there is an arrow pointing into the distance and written in black ink on the arrow is "To Wonderland." I have been thinking of where to hang it- above my bed, near my closet, or anywhere. It has been sitting next to my door for about a week now- hasn't moved an inch, clearly because I have done nothing with it. I just haven't had the time to actually hang it. So there it sits, waiting to be placed.

My picture is kind of in a limbo land- waiting until I am ready to move it. For some reason, everything I do at the moment is in a weird limbo land also. My weekends are planned around visits with my boyfriend (who is done with school in December and fingers crossed and every luck charm, will have a job in Atlanta)- all I want is for him to be here- I miss this summer, when he was available to me all the time- we could get lunch during the week, cook dinner at night and go do fun things. He was here for the most amazing almost 4 months, and then he was just gone. I forgot how hard long distance was the second he arrived back in April- and now I remember how hard it was- and its even harder. And its one of those things that no one else can make better or fix. No matter how late I stay at work, how many hours I spend at the gym or go out trying to avoid missing him- that itch in my stomach to hang out with him and see him every day does not go away. We are a team- and flying without my partner in crime all the time is really hard.

So right now, him and I are in the limbo land- just waiting for graduation, trying everything possible to make the weeks go by faster. We are almost there- only about a month left, he has been gone since September, but for some reason- once November 1st rolled around- everything really sunk in that he was not living here anymore. There are no other words to describe it other than it just plain sucks.

So- for now, yea I am living in limbo- just like my picture. Maybe one of these days the picture will find its place on my wall and point to which ever direction "Wonderland" is. Maybe when my picture finds its place, I'll find mt wonderland. Maybe I will just leave my picture there until my boyfriend finally moves here- and he can help me hang it. Someone has to find there place- so my picture and I might as well find it together.

Maybe its the weather (its nasty outside) or the fact that it got dark outside before I left work- or I just miss my partner in crime right now a lot- just in a really weird funk. Hopefully nothing that a gym session cant fix.

peace, love and Gym Therapy-

b