Whirlwind

So, I know you all are probably wondering, "now that Brandi moved back to Atlanta, she is back in her groove, back to the normal. Now that she is back, nothing new or exciting will ever happen to her again." Yea... well... surprise, you are wrong!

Now that I am back, my life has never moved so fast, had so many changes and been happy throughout the whole time- ever. My job is incredible. Finally I am in a position with support. A position that other people are rooting for me to succeed and rooting for me to progress. I see a future progression- future growth and a start of a possible career that I never saw in New York. I go to work every morning excited for what will happen next. Yea, the hour-ish commute kinda sucks still (but only 6 weeks more until I move into my new apartment!)- and yea, I am not reading as much, but I am excited to go to work and I am not standing squished between two over sized, smelly men.

Another large change in my life has been the very fast progressing relationship with my boyfriend. I was back in Bloomington, Indiana visiting him this past weekend, he was in Atlanta seeing me 2 weekends ago and he is making his way back to Atlanta this coming weekend and the weekend after that. Let's just say that he is great. Him and I have passed that mushy stage- onto the real life part and even closer to the real life relationship when the long distance that we are in now will be confined into one city. Its coming closer and I cannot wait. He has been a big part of my support system.

Another change: I have FINALLY started working out on a regular schedule again. Walking the dog with my mom in the morning and stopping at the gym on the way home from work or after going for drinks. Finally, I am not eating my way through a city, and my jeans are thanking me every day.

And finally- on a more materialistic though: I am able to live here. I finally got my first real paycheck and realized- with actual fact how much more money I am making and how much more I am able to live here. Instead of having to dig into my savings, I can live on my paycheck: pay my loans, pay my future rent, pay my bills, pay for things that come up, and finally still be able to do some fun things (like a beer fest that I went to 2 weeks ago). Just all around- not having to worry about money as much really does make life a lot less stressful.

I am not saying that money can buy happiness, AT ALL.

But what I am saying is that money can make life easier and easier to find happiness. Just a realization that I never thought I would admit.

Lesson Learned:

Having a support system makes all the difference: in life, in relationships and financially. With all three, theres no stopping me.

Peace, Love, and I promise to write more and find the time... its fine, I will just be more tired,

B

Jeep Wave

All the way through high school, I drove my dads '95 soft top jeep wrangler. I loved that jeep not only because driving with the top down, doorless during the beautiful spring, summer and fall was amazing, but the culture that went along with driving the jeep made it extra special. There is a 'jeep club' exclusive for jeep wrangler drivers only. A simple wave to another jeep driver lets you know they are apart of the club. Apart of the enjoy life and drive a jeep club. Yes, clearly their advertising of the Jeep Life worked on me, but really, seeing that kind of happiness between jeep drivers is just comforting- knowing that driving a Jeep just makes life seem a littler happier.

I almost wish that everyone could be apart of the jeep club. Right now, as I type, Diane Sawyer is reporting about the unrest in the Middle East. She is speaking about the one week celebration of victory in Egypt, and the revolution starting Bahrain. These people are fighting for their rights- and here I am, talking about a jeep wave. How messed up is that? The world is on edge, all eyes focused on the middle east- protesters being beaten, killed, journalists attacked- men, women and children looking on waiting to see what will happen to their country, to their future and to their freedom.

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason- but what is the reason for all the unrest? What is the reason for all the problems and all the unhappiness. Life is not suppose to be this hard. Was there ever a time that everyone was happy? In my mind- yes, when we were cave men, before the invention of fire- when people just were.

Questions of the world that will never be answered until they are played out. I guess all I can do is keep forming opinions to make thing better. Make people smile. Make people realize that maybe life can be easier if they just let go- everyone just accept. Acceptance and understand.

I am not big on politics or policies. I don't understand them and I never really have. I believe in as long as you are happy and allow me to be happy and don't get in my way of happiness, then we're all good. Its an elementary thought I know, but it works for me and I am a happy person generally- just don't quite understand why everyone else can't.

If everyone can find their 'jeep wave' then maybe we can all get along... But who knows.

What I do know is this:

With everything going on, and all the stress in the world- its scary. I am scared and nervous, but want to do something to help. Just don't know what.

Peace, love and Jeep wave to the world,

B

Valentines and Name Plates

Today was a defining day in two ways.

First: my first real Valentines day. I got flowers delivered to me at my desk that were beautiful. Not only was it my first real Valentines day not only getting something from my parents, but it was the first time I had a boy send me flowers since Junior year of high school when some creep-o decided he wanted me to be his girlfriend without telling me. Literally, he showed up at my house with flowers, expecting out of the blue for me to be his girlfriend because he bought me flowers- but typically, being in a relationship requires verbal exchanges and since we had never spoken before... that kind of made it hard to let him be my boy friend. So really, today was the first time and loved every second of it.

Second: I finally got my own name plate. At my first job, there was no way to declare my desk because no one ever gave me a name plate. Usually the simple plaques are standard with your name and title. But at my first, they did not quite see it as necessary. Well, after 5 at my new job, I got a name plate! Its made out of a cd,which is really creative. But its not how cool it is that matters- its the fact that I have my own desk, my own area with MY name on it. Something so small as a name plate has made this whole move seem like I am starting a life. It's nice to feel like I am wanted in my office and appreciated. It makes my job feel like there is more of a future in a career. Just the small things in life.

Also... on another note, I signed a lease! I will finally be moving out into my own place with a friend of mine on April 20th. Figuring out my small bank accounts to pay for an apartment is so much easier when my rent isn't through the roof. I signed a year lease for half of what i was looking for in New York and twice the size. Having me space, warm weather, friends and a good job that I love is what I moved for.

Lesson Learned:

The thought always counts, and flowers will always bring a smile.

Peace, Love and defining days,

B

turn around

What a week! there is no other explanation.

A week ago, 7 days, I was sitting alone, trapped inside my aunts house waiting for my ride to the airport. The weekend was freezing and raining and just plain gross. And today- well, at the moment, I am sitting on the back porch of my house in a long sleeve shirt and gym shorts- just got back from a run actually. This is the only thing I have ever wanted- good weather. I know for a fact that the weather is not always perfect, but its mid-winter and amazing out.

The Turn around I have experienced this week is incredible. I just feel like I am back where I belong. Who would have thought that in 6 months, I would have had 2 jobs- lived in 2 cities and had the encounters that I have had. Following my gut has not failed me yet. There is no lesson in school that teaches you to do what makes you happy. If my teachers would have just told me that- then life in general would be a lot easier. Because when I am happy- everything else just falls into place, and I don't think I am the only one who feels like this.

On top of the great week of settling back into Georgia, my boyfriend came in to visit. He was here for 4 days and every time we see each other, it gets harder and harder to say goodbye until the next visit. I guess this is what they say about long distance relationships suck. But in the suckiest of situations- he does a great job of making it seem like the weeks go by faster until the next time. It's funny- recently, things just make sense. He is my first relationship and I might be a little bias, but he is the best. He doest take my crap, which I tend to dish out, and he tells me when I am being dramatic and still wants to hang out with me anyways. So I guess saying that, I'll keep him around. 12 more days until I see him next- taking a trip to Indiana and 12 days can't come soon enough.

Lesson Learned:

Everything works out.

Peace, Love and happiness,

B

Fresh Start

After changing a taxi tire, an hour long crying fest at the delta ticket counter, forking over $340 for my luggage that was suppose to be free and a two and a half hour flight, 4 hours of unpacking and 5 hours of sleep... I MADE IT- made it home and made through my first day of my new adventure!

All the drama of yesterday is over with. Yes, I will be writing to Delta telling them they need to change their website to be more clear. No, I was not planning on spending $340 dollars for my 2 under 70lbs bags- nor was I aware that they were clarified as over weight, because Skymiles Medallion members are allowed 2 bags up to 70lbs for free- and my ticket was booked under a Skymiles Medallion member number, but apparently, the memeber has to be traveling in the same reservation. None of this explained clearly on their website. If Delta wants to avoid complications with travelers, they should explain themselves clearly. They have a new advertising campaign out now that focuses on how Delta employees are what make the company, that their employees know how to 'put themselves on the other side of the counter.' Well, I would like to say- sorry Delta, your LGA employees have no clue what it's like to be on the other side of the counter. Neither do they care about customer service or how they make their customers feel. I am not the type of person to show up to the airport with 2 over sized bags and pay $340- if I would have known it was going to cost that much, I would have shipped more stuff and had my suitcases weigh less than 50lbs, like normal travelers.

It does not matter anymore, because I made it back to Atlanta. But if you happen to know someone who works at Delta, or you work at Delta- tell them to watch out for my angry letter. It is coming- and I will try everything in my power to get their website changed- just on principal.

But anyways, just typical that this would happen to me. I should have known when my taxi ride to the airport showed up with a flat tire that day that my travels would not be easy. Yet again, my life never ceases to amaze me.

Now that I have been home for 24 hours, I have finally unpacked all of my things into my new room in my basement and haven't felt this relaxed in 6 months. I really feel like I am happier just being here. And now I can finally say, with full confidence, that I made the right decision. I listened to my gut and that gut feeling was the best for me to follow. No mater what happens from here on out, I can say that moving back here was the best decision for me- I did what makes me happy. And even in 24 hours, I have felt a turn around.

Lesson Learned:

Find what makes you happy- and if your gut grumbles to tell you something- follow it.

Peace, Love and full nights of sleep,

B

theme songs...

Also... songs always describe my life the best... and currently, here are the 3 songs that spell everything out...

New Yorks not my home:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USVvxcaa4OA

Onto the next one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WM1RChZk1EU

Welcome to Atlanta:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5W73HaVQBg

Peace, love and soundtracks of my life,

B

Here We Go...

The day has finally come. Moving day. There was a point about 2 days ago where I was second guessing my decision about moving. But now that the day is here- all I can say is, Peace Out New York, its onto the next one.

I do have to thank you, New York: Thank you for the experience and learning situations you put me in. From crying on 5th avenue about not getting a job I desired to dating the intense Russian, Boris, you have taught me that everything happens for a reason. Some things happened at the beginning of my trip that I could not understand and that seemed like the end of the world, but after time, realized that I couldn't have gotten where I am not without the difficulties from before.

No where else could I have seen magic tricks on the E train or ice skated to work. The weather has been crazy since the first day, even before I moved here but came up for an interview in July- it was the hottest day on record in 20 years. Then came the tornado in Forest Hills that I missed by about 30 seconds because I was still on the subway, that should have been my first sign to leave. After the tornado came the winter- and there is nothing else to say about this winter other than cold. New York, you have taught me that seasonal depression is real and for the rest of my life, I will never voluntarily live where the average temperature in the winter is below 40. The fall and spring here are beautiful, but those 4 months of winter and just too much for me.

I have learned that I need my space. The short time I was apartment searching, I convinced myself that sharing a studio with only a curtain separating my roommate and I would be ok- yea , not ok. Simple enough- I need my own personal space.

I have learned about what kind of friends I want in my life and what kind of friend I am. I have learned that to have a friend- you must be a friend too. There are so many people in this world that I cannot be best friends with everyone and there are just some people where being friends on the surface is good enough. But then again, there are friends who are unexpected. Friends that came back from my past and really made my life in New York complete.

I have learned that its ok to let people care about me, too. I have learned to let my guard down with a certain person and as scary as it is to let someone it, it feels good to just let go and let someone care about me. I have learned that with personal life, its ok to not seem tough all the time- because being tough and closed off is a lot of work .

I have learned that no one will look out for you other than yourself. In all aspects. There are people in my life that look out for my best interest, but they are not by my side all the time. As much as I have always wanted to see the best in people, New York has taught me to be a little more skeptical. This attribute will be good for me back in Atlanta- I am a little stronger because of it.

I have learned and continue to learn to like myself a little more every day. My mom keeps telling me that I need to learn to be happy with just being myself and not needing people around all the time. I do like myself- whoever I am. I am in a transition right now and 'myself' is a little of everything and a little undefined. But I'll find her eventually.

I have learned that the word no does not sit with me very well. People told me when I moved here without a job that I was crazy- that there was no way I'd get one. The fact they didn't believe in me drove me even more to find a job as fast as possible. And guess what- I win. I pushed myself even harder because people told me I couldn't. Well, I have done it twice now. I start my new job in Atlanta tomorrow.

The main thing I have learned living here: New York is not my home.I need to find where I am happy again- because this concrete city just isn't it. But its been a fun first stop on my adventure of life. Couldn't have started it off any better. So, thank you New York and to all my friends. Thank you for helping me through these 6 months. I know I haven't been the easiest person to deal with at times, but its life- its a learning process.

And, the point still stands, the city still smells to me after 6 months. I gotta get myself some fresh southern air. So off to Georgia I go. Don't think I will stop writing either- because my adventure can only get better from here- promise. I have even already started fighting with Delta and I am not even at the airport yet. Gotta love traveling. Delta and I have a love hate relationship- so we'll see how this goes...

peace, love and see ya new york- onto the next one,

B