If you haven't read or ever heard of Maria Shriver's book, Ten Things I wish I'd Known- Before I went Out into the Real World, you should. For me to recommended a book is a huge deal. I'm not much of a reader (well, other than the trashy Danielle Steel books) and I flew through Shriver's book like it was a news paper.

Don't ask questions... Just do it.

Maybe I should write a book.... hmmmm.....

Peace, Love and reading instead of Nexflix,

B

Sleep Away Camp

In 3rd grade, my parents sent me to sleep away camp. I got very sick, bronchitis, phenomia and strep throat all in 4 weeks. Every chance I got, I would call home and beg for my parents to come and bring me home. The amount of tears that were shed in those weeks was almost humanly impossible. The feeling of just wanting to be home was the worst feeling for a 3rd grader. Till this day, never again do I want to feel like that. The feeling was comparable to having your gut ripped out, not able to catch your breath and just wanting to calm down but you cannot. I had dreams every night of just being home, being somewhere I felt comfortable.

That 3rd grader is starting to come out again. There is no where I am finding home. The feeling of being so far away, so disconnected, so helpless is starting to rise. After going home for Thanksgiving... I am starting to think that maybe, really this city is not for me. The issue is still up for debate, but how much longer am I suppose to live here? How much longer am I suppose to try and force myself to be happy? All the thoughts of moving out of my aunts house got shot down after I had an honest talk with my parents. Financially, there is no chance I can move out and really live. All the stress compiles on top of itself and on Sunday, it all boiled over into one crying mess of a mental break down.

Lesson Learned:

Maybe it takes learning what you don't want to finally see clearly what you do want....

Peace, Love and stuck in a rut,

B

Tell Me What To Do

This is just a general question for life. What are the answers? Is there some book that Indiana University forgot to give me at graduation? The book of life that has all the answers in the back. No one is suppose to look in the back, but in desperate times, consultation of the back of the book is necessary. If someone stole my copy, could you please give it back? I am in need of life answers.

I do not know what to do from here. Going home and being back in Atlanta was amazing and an eye opening trip. Sitting down and really looking at my finances, there is NO way for me to move out of my aunts house. I have obligations to our wonderful government and owe them for the education they provided for me. Although I am a little disappointed in this education, they did not prepare me for the real life. They did not prepare me for the mental break downs, the bills, the confusion, the decision making skills or anything that really matters. But this is neither here, nor there- thats another adventure to go on later in my life. I will fix this problem. I never want anyone else to feel like me- so lost and confused. There are answers and what I wish my teachers really would have told me.

But, the question still stands.... What now? Wheres my answers book?

Peace, Love and everlasting questions,

B

Options

I appologize for my absence the past week. Being in Atlanta was an eye opening experience.... But I will explain later. This is a blog I started thanksgiving day and never finished... So here we go.....

As this Thanksgiving day has been approaching- I have really been putting deep thought into what I can say that I am truly thankful for. Something short and sweet to explain everything in a nutshell.

The usual things: health, family, friends, ect. of course are things that I am always thankful for, but what has made this year different. What has separated this year from the past 22. After about a week of soul searching and hours on the treadmill thinking, I found it. The one thing that I am thankful for this year and sets every other year apart.

This year, I am thankful for options. This might sound a little off, so let me explain.

I am thankful for the fact that my entire life, I have had options. I am the one who chooses where to go, what to do and who to ultimately be. I always have had the option to let me parents into my life and I am thankful that I allowed them. My brother and I had the option to be friends and we are best friends. I had the option to go to New York after graduation and its been an adventure and a learning experience. I had the option to go wherever I wanted for college. I have the option to lead my life down whatever path I want. Not everyone has the luxury to make these decisions and to have different options.

For this Thanksgiving, I am thankful for the options in my life. Also, for the option to write this blog. Because, sometimes, I do not know what I would do without it. This white screen with my words on it has turned into my safe haven. Where no matter what I have to say, the computer never says no. I can write what ever I feel, and for this option, I am thankful.

Peace, love and many more options to come...

B

894 miles

Its funny how New York can seem like the biggest and smallest city in the world at the exact same time. Every day I walk with millions of people- bump into people I will never see again and share stares with individuals on the subway that have no direct impact on my life at this moment. Thats what makes this city so big- just the actual amount of people.

But this city is also the only place in the world where you will ever run into people. Just like that, in the middle of the street I bumped into a sorority sister I hadn't seen in 2 years- random and out of place. Well yesterday's story tops them all. I walked out of my building to get lunch and there were 3 men standing outside in Lassiter High school band jackets. I thought to myself,'thats cool, I know where that high school is.' As I was heading in a different direction, one of the man turned around and a voice that I though came from behind me... but actually came from my mouth goes, "Mr. Cole?" the man looked at me confused. I approached him and reached out my hand and said, "Hi Mr. Cole, I don't know if you remember me, but I'm Brandi Unger, you were my band teacher in middle school."

The confusion on his face went from 'who is this weird girl,' to 'oh my gosh.' The first words out of his mouth, "Bass Clarette, you tried so hard." (aka, I sucked, but I really did try hard... nothing worked to improve my skills, I just was not meant to play in the band. My nickname was 'squeeker' because no music would come out of the instrument... just squeeks). He was in town because the school is playing on Thursday in the Thanksgiving Day Parade. After a few minutes of small chit chat, we headed our separate ways. But who would have thought I would run into my middle school band teacher, the most random person- in front of my building- in New York city- 894 miles away from home.

This city is funny. Sometimes its bigger than I can handle and other times its the smallest place in the world. Just depends on the day. The same goes with my feelings with this city... it is turning into a love hare relationship.

But our relationship (our referring to me and New York) is taking a little break. We need to be separated from each other, take a breather. As exciting and fast moving as this city is, I am going back to my one true love tonight. Home. I have made sure that some of my belongings have been left here, forcing that I come back after break, but this should be interesting. Going home for the first time in 4 months... Beyond ready.

I will make sure to keep all of you in the loop of course. The next few weeks are going to be a bumpy ride... Guaranteed.

Peace, Love and who know's whats going to happen next.... or who I will run into,

B

New Challenge... Accepted

Last week was no facebook, and I have to say, my week (minus being sick) was a little better. I didn't think as much about what other people were doing- I stayed on track with my life. Check plus for me. I am going to keep the facebook stalking on limited for now on. Challenge complete.

This weeks challenge might be a little more difficult. I am going to tackle my texting. Because I cannot give up texting all together- I am going to have to take this one in small baby steps. Here's the game plan: in a group setting, my phone must stay in my pocket. Unless to make plans with someone in the same state as me, texting will be limited.

Let's see how this one goes with home on the horizon.... AKA, the south on Tuesday night!!!! It's been 4 months since I have been home and I cannot be more excited!!

Alright, Challenge has been set...

Peace, Love and Texting,

B

Bait and Switch

In college, our Realtor for senior housing was a pain in the butt. She was concerned about her house and swindling money out of poor college kids. She wine and dined us into getting a house we couldn't afford, over charged us for maintenance and took out security deposit. Even though she was a horrible human being to deal with, I have to say thank you to her for putting me through little leagues of brokers. Because now, New York city is the major leagues- dealing with people that have twice her sleezy and money stealing abilities.

This whole apartment search is going to be a tad harder than expected. I haven't felt this talked down to and degraded for being a woman since I was swindled out of $200 dollars at the car dealership. I am sure that not all brokers are greasy- but the few I have come in contact with are.

There was a listing on craigslist yesterday that looked amazing. Right in our price range, duplex- easy enough to make into a 2 bedroom, full kitchen and perfect location. It looked like a listing sent from heaven. Our names were written all over it. The second I read the ad, I called the number at the bottom. A very nice man answered and we set up an appointment at his office before going to see the place. My roommate and I arrive at his office and come to find that place does not even exist. He suckered us into coming to his office and sitting with him for an hour. He showed us places that were out of our price range and assumed that we were using mommy and daddys money. Clearly, we both are not and clearly we both are not stupid (even though he thought we were).

Is there somewhere in the job description of being a broker where it says that you have to assume all human beings are dumb and will eat up everything that you say? Does anyone know of a good broker in New York? If you do, please let us know....

Lesson Learned:

Be stern and get details from craigslist before making moves.

Peace, love and Bait and Switch,

B