Kill them with Kindness

There is something I have learned- in the real world, I will deal with all different kinds of people: fun people, dull people, nice people, rude people and people who there is no word to even describe them other than frustrating. Just within the past 6 months the people I have dealt with could cover all emotions and types. But- something to take away from dealing with everyone: if I stay nice, never let them get me down or let their words bother me, eventually, in time- they will settle.

My mom always told me that you catch more bees with honey than with vinegar and in the working world, this philosophy TOTALLY applies. I have tried to brand myself as the fun one in the office (and in my new office in 6 days...)- fun but will get my stuff done right. My co-workers know the job will be done with a smile and done right, they also know that if I mess up, there is no problem going back and fixing my mistake. But they are aware that I will not be taken advantage of. If I feel something is unfair- I will stand up for myself but in a way that is non defensive. Putting a co worker on the defense is the worst move you could make (no one likes to be blamed). Everyone likes to feel needed, so instead of asking what their problem with it is, I just reverse it (a line I have learned from my parents) "How can I help to release your stress." or my other personal favorite, "help me help you to fix (whatever is wrong)"

The benefits from being the fun one: people respond to me better. I am able to diffuse tension and everyone is just in a better mood.

I think I might have learned these lessons in college while being the standards head for 100 girls, but never really had to deal with people twice my age... I guess being in a sorority helped prepare me for the real world more than actual college classes did. So thanks Sigma Delta Tau.

Lesson learned:

Life could be so pleasant if people just let things go and move on, but I guess that's what managers are for.. or maybe a new position needs to be created in offices, "the fun one".... That's a challenge I'd be up for... Just remember, not only bees, everyone likes honey better.

Peace, Love and countdown to a new office in a familiar city,

B

Beware

I am warning you now, boys- this post is NOT for you. If you would like to read how the female mind works for about a week once a month, then continue, but if not and you get grossed out, stop now.

This thing I speak of that comes once a month is called PMS. And for some reason, the past 2 days, I have had RAGING PMS. I don't mean just being a little cranky. I mean crying at the drop of a hat, flipping out for no reason, taking something someone said way to personally, and having the constant feeling that its me against the world. Sound familiar? I am sure that to most of you- yes, even guys (I know for a fact that some of my guy friends have PMS). Mine has taken a turn for the worst this week. On top of all the excitement and stress of moving back, this week happens to be the busiest week of work I have had... ever. Resulting in an explosion of tears at my desk yesterday. It had to be a combination of stress, the weather, PMS, over loaded and just- everything. I was stressed my boyfriend's flight would not get in, stressed about the amount of work to get down, stressed about packing and figuring out how to get everything home, just plain stressed. The weather up here explains it self. It just sucks. No other wording for it. Slushy, black snow is gross. PMS just added to the creation. I cried for no reason. One of my co-workers said something to me and I cracked- as easily as an egg. I cannot even honestly remember what was said or what was happening, I just exploded.

Lesson learned:

When PMS is around... have cupcakes handy. When I told my mom what was happening she told me to get a cupcake, and she was right. It really did make everything all better. Sometimes all that is needed is sugar.

Peace, love and love being a girl,

B

Cosmic Universe

First- even though only 2 people responded to my experiment yesterday (one of them being my own dad- who was number 1)- I'll try another round next time and maybe my mom will actually figure out how to leave a comment (she tried and failed...3rd times the charm, mom), my best friend will respond as my agent again (because she is required to) and I will up my number to 4. I do know for a fact there are more of you- so I forgive you for not commenting. Even my own childhood best friend sent me an instant message saying, "This is me responding." Humorous, yes- but giving me qualitative results to my highly scientific experiment- no.

Anyways- I have to tell you all, 2 jobs in 6 months! Thats right, I am set with a job to start when I move back to Atlanta! This round was a little easier and not as stressful as when I moved up to New York, seeing as my main goal this time was to move back down south. The official departure date is February 6th- 11 days to be exact (not that I am counting or anything...). In those 11 days- I have my boy friend (yes, the special man friend has evolved into the boyfriend) visiting this weekend, shipping and packing, final visits to the museums I want to see, and then its adios bitter cold and hello southern comfort. And don't you worry- I will keep writing, because no matter where I happen to be.... trouble and adventure tend to not be too far behind.

My best friend asked me the other day if I was a little bit sad about leaving. I told her that the only things I will miss are my few friends and work family, but other than that- New York is for visiting, not for living.

After telling her that, I really started thinking about what I will miss and started to feel a little nervous about leaving (I say LITTLE again, like slightly, almost non existent)- but then the 3rd snow storm in a month decided to roll through Manhattan today and all feelings of nervousness flew out the window. Literally- the cosmic universe is actually telling me to get out. Apparently this is the worst winter New York has seen in years. Now what is the chance that the worst winter is the winter I decide to move up? Chance- none, a test? Yes.

Congratulations cosmic universe! You have succeeded in making me never, ever, EVER want to live somewhere that snow is expected every winter. Now, ingrained in my mind: Snow is for skiing, NOT for living.

There was a huge lesson learned in my 6 months living in New York though (More over all lessons to come I am sure now that the reflecting phase is starting...):

You really have to find out what you don't want to find out what you really do want. I would have never known I hated the cold and snow so much and loved the sunshine and space without living here.

Peace, Love and listening to the signs,

B

Experiment

So... I want to try something and I need yalls help....I have noticed that the readership of my blog has gone up by 300 page views since this morning- which is the coolest thing EVER! I didn't realize how many people read it.

First of all- YAY!!

Second of all- if you guys don't mind... I want to know who you are- so if you are reading this, leave a comment- doesn't have to really say anything important, but I want to know if your out there... Just a little social experiment.

Peace, love and I want to reach everyone,

B

Tumble on the E

I haven't had a shocking experience on the E train in a while- I think because I have become slightly jaded by living here for 6 months- but this event was eye opening.

Because of my hate towards riding the subway during rush hour, I go to the late boxing class and get on the subway around 8 because there is room to stand and actually have personal space. Well, last night- I guess people had to work a little late because the E train was a bit more crowded than usual. After getting on the train, a couple of girls come running on the train at the last minute- they tried to push their way through the crowd to find a place to stand. There were two men standing right smack in the middle of the walk way and wouldn't budge- they felt they claimed their area and had no reason to move. The girls kept pushing and finally, one of the girls tripped and landed smack on the floor. Not only did she fall, but she took quite a tumble- and did a forward roll.

After the girl landed on the floor, the men who caused the accident didn't budge- they just stared and said, "Thats why you shouldn't push." And continued with their conversation while the girl laid on the floor. Shocked that no one was helping her.

Now, I am not going to lie, my first thoughts were "great.... Now this ride will take longer than usual." How horrible is that? And a split second after those words floated in my brain, I snapped back into my usual nice self (rather than my hard New York self)- bent down and tried helping the girl off the ground.

Just- What in the world. First to those men- get some manners. Second to myself- Snap out of it- remember who you are and don't let this city make me too hard.

Peace, Love and did that really happen??

B

Support

With my recent decision to move back to the south- I had to put in my 2 week notice last Tuesday. After a few days, word spread pretty fast around the office that I will be migrating.

I have been blown away by the support everyone has given me. There is a small group of people that have really given me support and great advice. All of them have encouraged me to do what makes me happy and to follow my dreams.

Now, I really do understand the concept of a 'work family.' Although I have made a good group of outside friends my own age while living here- and will miss all of them every day- I will miss my work family possibly more. These people know more about me than a lot of my friends. They give unbiased advice because they do not know all the characters in my play of life and don't take sides. They all listen and really hear me- and since most of them have a few years on me can give me tips from what they have learned and guide me into different though processes.

I also like them because they laugh at my jokes (even if they are laughing at me and not with me). I enjoy making people laugh, always have- and they are the perfect audience. They all listen to my insane stories from my weekend adventures, boy adventures (good and bad- but recently all good.... amazing actually), family drama, friend drama and how I feel like work gets in the way of having a social life. They have seen me transform and sift through the difficulties of graduating and coping.

I know for a fact most of my work family reads my blog- and I want to give yall a personal shout out and thanks for being there for me the past 6 months. This is my promise to stay in touch with you all and when I become a huge sensation doing whatever that makes me a sensation- I will give yall credit.

So lesson learned from the past 6 months:

Since you usually spend more time at work than you do at home- having a work family is important for your sanity.

Peace, Love and nothing can replace my first work family, but excited for my next ones,

B

Best Years

Over the past 9 months since college graduation- a few of my elders have told me over and over again, "enjoy these days, they are the best times of your life- while you are still young" or, "I wish I would have known then what I do now." Well... no disrespect to the people who have shared this advice with me- but I think you are wrong.

Why cant all the days be the best days? Every phase of my life has been fun- all different but all fun. Throughout each stage I learned something for the next stage. I want to try and turn around peoples thinking. If we all dwell on the past or the 'good old days' then what is there to look forward to? I look at people like Jennifer Aniston, George Clooney, Betty White and think- they got it going on- all the time. They look better than they ever have before (Well minus George's recent battle with Malaria... hes a little yellow at the moment) and they all have said in articles that they have never been happier- and they aren't in their 20's.

What is so special about the 20's anyways? It's awkward- like being back in middle school. Not quite suer of myself and learning more in one day than my brain can actually handle. So for all of you who are telling me these are the best days of my life- again, I have to say- you are wrong. Because, again I will say- every day is the best day.

Usually I accept what others say and respect their opinion because thats what makes the world go round- but I really, truly do believe that if people changed their though process- the aging wouldn't suck so bad. I am going to try and start a "Be happy with Brandi project" where I just make people think a little differently every day that will brighten their days. What fun is it to wish you were back somewhere else? Its not fun- so whats the point? Once I realized that I am never going back to college- I set myself on a new adventure and ever since the direction of my thoughts changed- I have been happier.

So, my friends- Be happy with Brandi Project has officially begun. Stop thinking about how great the past was and think about how great right nows phase is. I am not saying every day will be great- but life is- so enjoy ever phase of it.

Lesson Learned:

Every phase is the best phase.

Peace, love and just more love,

B

My Abroad

During spring semester Junior year of college, a lot of my friends spent the 18 weeks in Europe- studying, experiencing food and going out on the towns. Well, because I loved Bloomington, Indiana so much, I decided that the 4 years I got to spend there needed to be extended for as long as possible- resulting in me never making the trip over seas.

Well, the 6 months I have spent in New York I am considering my abroad time. Yes, thats right my friends, B is on to another adventure. I have come to the conclusion that the ice skating rink, formally known as Manhattan is just not for me. So, in result, I ventured into my bosses office this afternoon and explained to him my status and my desire to fly back down south. He said he understood and even offered to write me a recommendation- the understanding and compassion he showed me really hit a core. But even so- I cannot contain my excitement to head back to Georgia.

My time in New York has resulted to a yo yo diet, a change in style for a period of time, and my new ability to slither through crowds like its nobody's business. But now- I am done and on to the next one. I am sure the subways will miss me- but the E train performers will just have to find some other wide-eye clueless girl to taunt.

I have wanted to tell the void of my blog (aka all of you) my real thoughts for a few days now, but since I know some of you work in my office, I am sorry I had to hold in the truth- granted my recent trip to Atlanta with a very special boy did take my mind off this subject matter for a time being (and just to let you know... the trip was amazing- more to come after this). But as my dad told me, anyone who reads this blog clearly knows that New York has turned into not one of my favorite places.

But, all in all- my time in New York has been life changing, and now the days are numbered. I am back on the job hunt- maybe a career change? Maybe article writing in my future? Maybe my own TV show? the sky is the limit for me right now. If anyone has any ideas... my valued readers.. tell me what you think- bunger62288@gmail.com

Stay tuned for more to come... :)

Peace, love and peace out abroad,

B

Just to laugh this morning...

Because I am in such a great mood this morning (I am getting on a plane to Georgia for the weekend in 11 hours...), you should be too. My best friend sent me this clip this morning and it's hysterical.... enjoy...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LkusicUL2s

Peace, Love and flying on a plane today,

B

Snow and Sniffles on the Subway

Another 'huge' snowstorm was suppose to attack New York today. There was talk around the office about possibly not coming to work today... but after the 'storm' there was no need to stay home. Yes, there was a little plowing necessary to actually emerge from my aunts house- but other than that, the snow was amazing. I left 15 minutes early just to play in it. Exploring the fluffy powder alone was not as much fun as it is when I have people to play with- but fun anyways. No other word can explain the scene other than a winter wonderland.

The winter wonderland started off my day, and tears ended my day on the subway. There I was, still in my gym clothes, hair damp with sweat and book in hand. To the untrained eye, I was just a crazy woman on the train crying- but really, the book I am reading really hit a soft spot. For those of you who haven't read "The Last Song" you should. Its not a boys book at all but has the same effect as reading "The Notebook" for girls- it pulls every emotion from me. I have laughed, cryed, felt pissed and wished that I was in the book- I even have felt like this book was telling my story. Its insane. Straight up insane.

I should have known that the tears were going to roll on the subway- because I had tears in my eyes while I was on the stair master 30 minutes beforehand. Just imagine that... a girl crying on the stair master- it is an interesting sight... believe me, I am that girl.

What a day... But I am going to Atlanta for the weekend, AND SO EXCITED! I don't think I can explain to you how excited I am to see my family, friends and I have a special friend coming home with me too this weekend... more details to come after the weekend I am sure.

Lesson Learned:

I need to carry tissues.

Peace, Love and what a day,

B

Boys and Bulls.......

A good friend of mine suggested that we go to the rodeo with some of his friends this past Saturday night. I had never been or experienced a big rodeo before, so I figured why not (Yes, I am still practicing the philosophy of, 'if its not hurting anyone, then why not')? This opportunity also gave me an actual excuse to wear my cowboy boots AND flannel out in pubic and not have to get made fun of.. Believe me, I fit right in.

The rodeo was the group we were with was fun... and of course the beer was delightful. But there was something that kind of hit a nerve with me in the whole rodeo experience. Those poor bulls. They basically getting their balls yanked for our enjoyment. While watching the 'sport,' the boys I was with cheered when the bull would throw off the rider and then refuse to go back into its cage. Basically, they were taunting the bull and screaming for it to charge at someone- just waiting for the poor animal to hurt someone. Now, I am not a huge animal activist- I enjoy a nice steak and piece of chicken, but watching a animal in pain has always hit a soft spot.... and those poor bulls, their balls must hurt, and its not like they can turn around and say, 'hey, now, how would you like it if I pulled your balls with a rope and tried to hang on to you? How would you feel?'

Other than feeling bad for the bulls... the whole rodeo scene was really fun- everyone there for a good beer- pretty simple. There is just something about the combination of beer, boys and bulls that seem to fit perfectly together. Maybe its the rough and tough of it all- and unlike football, all the boys felt a connection with the single rider it felt like, well a connection with the rider or the bull, I couldn't quite tell.

If you ever get the chance to go to a rodeo- just go, its a sight to see none the less.

Peace, Love and bulls,

B

Seeing Blind Man....

On my way back to Queens this morning- there was the typical homeless man on the subway asking for change (as I just re read that... how horrible do I sound- I have been in this city for way to long- as I am now clumping all homeless people into a bunch. Where has my compassion gone? Has the city actually succeeded in making me hard??? Heaven forbid). But on top of begging for change and being homeless, this man claimed he was legally blind, with the seeing stick and thick black glasses to protect his eyes from the light. He made his way through our 6 train car, banging the ground with his stick and shaking the cup he held for change. Some nice man gave him a 5 dollar bill (very generous). I saw his compassion and searched my pockets for change but honestly did not have any....

But then something very interesting happened. When the man made it to the end of the car- he said, "God bless you all" and opened the doors between the cars and kept walking onto the next subway car.

Now someone explain this to me. If a blind man can hardly get through a subway car, how in the world would he be able to seamlessly transfer between the cars while they are moving??? Something just did not seem right. If this guy actually was blind, than wow- he has got some good skills, but lets be honest.... theres no way. At all.

After the man switched cars, I shared a glance with the man sitting next to me. It was one of those moments where we both were thinking the exact same thing, "Come on, really?" and we both laughed a little.

Just an interesting morning ride on the 6 train

Peace, Love and I can see you,

B

Bathroom Bandit

Due to my genes- passed down from my mom- water runs through my body faster than you can count to three. Because of my small bladder, bathroom runs occur on the regular. The set up of my office makes this a little tricky- seeing as the girls bathroom is surrounded by boys. We share the floor with a company that has mostly boys, while ours is mostly girls. So logically, our building put us on the side with the boys bathroom, and the other company with the girls bathroom. Why would they do that? I mean... I guess they want us to mix and mingle on the way to pee. But honestly... just WHY.

I am sure at this point, the boys have a tally going of how many times an hour I make the trek cross the office, through the kitchen and around the corner to the girls bathroom. Like my bosses couldn't put me at the farthest point.... Just come on.

Seriously.

Really?

Peace, Love, and Small Bladders,

B

What do you mean Snowstorm?

The past 2 weeks have been a whirlwind. I traveled from the north east, to the south east, to the middle of the country, to the Midwest and back again to the north east. Little did I know that when I flew to Florida 2 weeks ago I wouldn't see the skyline of new York for 2 weeks.

The original plan was to go see my grandparents for Christmas dinner- spend time with my family over the weekend and fly back to New York on Sunday- work for 2 days and fly out to Chicago on Wednesday to spend new years with friends, finally returning to New York on Monday night. The original plan was perfect- I was able to see everyone and work and please everyone and please myself..... Well... knowing my luck of the draw... the great blizzard of the north east had a different plan and made my plan go from smooth to an adventure... as always.

The flight Sunday afternoon back to New York got cancelled as the storm sat on top of Manhattan. Fine, no problem, I could just leave on Monday, still go to work Tuesday and half of Wednesday. Or at least that is what I told myself to feel better. Monday morning I woke up at 7:00 to leave at 7:45 for my 12:00 flight (Wanted to get there early in case of the mass chaos the blizzard caused). 15 minutes before leaving my Grandparents house in Orlando, Delta decided to cancel my flight AGAIN- without sending me an e-mail notification or calling me- just listed it on the website (Delta had a little issue dealing with the amount of callers and their entire phone system was shut down for 3 days, as well as their sky miles system.. if you know someone who works at Delta, let them know that it needs to be fixed...). I did receive a phone call, however, 10 minutes before my scheduled flight time letting me know that my flight was canceled. Thanks for the notice time.

Anyways- SHEER PANIC. How in the world was I suppose to make it back to New York, pack my winter clothes and fly out all in a day and a half with a blizzard? I had made new years eve plans MONTHS ago. All my friends were going to be there and not making it to Chicago just was not an option. Delta made that decision for me. The answer was simply No- I was not getting back to New York. The only other option Delta had was to get me on standby for Wednesday. No way was that happening.

Not knowing what to do, I brought my dad in for reenforcement. He came up with the genius idea to just fly me straight to Chicago, it didn't matter that I only had 3 pairs of shorts, sneakers, 3 t-shirts and one pair of leggings (I had packed for warm, sunny weather, not -40 and snowing).

Although he had this wonderful idea, because Delta's systems we shut down, the little woman at the ticket counter said, sorry, but no. This answer is never an answer for me dad, I guess thats where I get my drive from. So his solution- fine, if you won't give me what I want, I will just call the CEO of Delta's office and get it from him. And that is exactly what he did. After explaining to the executive assistant of the CEO that his daughter needed to get to Chicago instead of New York and was willing to give up a seat on a New York flight to someone who really wanted to get there (LOGICAL)- the assistant re assigned me- gave full credits for my flight and I was off to Chicago.

A short stop in Minneapolis (a very quaint airport, I must say) and I finally walked off the plane in Chicago- with no winter coat. Freezing the rest of the week and having to buy new clothes to be with my friends.... was 100% worth it.

My week stay in Chicago was amazing. I saw my best friends, saw the boy I mentioned in the last blog, had a great new years eve (even though I had to find a new dress.. not an easy venture.. the one that was stuck in New York will just have to wait for next New Years eve...). Once all the mess of the blizzard was figured out... my trip went smoothly, another adventure for the books none the less.

But let me tell you- Don't tell me dad no... He'll get you every time...

Lesson Learned:

If you can't get what you want, go to the top. There is always someone higher.

Peace, Love and Snowstorms,

B