Tis the season...

I saw a sign at my gym yesterday that said, "tis the season to get chubby, fa la la la la, la la la la..." and this sign does not lie. People have been bringing in home made goods to the office every day straight since Halloween. Although my gym regiment has stayed the same, my eating habits have clearly taken a turn for the worse. I am not suggesting that I go on a New Year's resolution to diet- rather, I am going on a New Years resolution to have self control from the yummy goodies my office puts out.

But that is not the point of this post. The reason I have been so absent is because I had a very exciting weekend. I had a boy visitor come this weekend who I have grown quite fond of. This is not a boy from New York, nor a new boy to my life- just someone who has come back into my life since homecoming and really impacted me for the better and has opened up my eyes.

To give you a little background, I brought him to my sorority formal this past spring- we did not really know each other that well, but bringing him rounded out our group and him and I happened to really hit it off. To end my formal experience- he did a good job at making it memorable and the best one out of them all.

We had quite a thing going on at the end of the school year- not sure what kind of label to put on it, but we were having a blast. He took me rock climbing- the perfect date to take me on....and then graduation came. Some little mishaps here and there and eventually stopped talking. Life in separate places kind of got in the way and being away from each other for so long with no clear path in the future made things hard. But once we saw each other at homecoming and had a little chat about life... it was like we never left.

Ever since homecoming, we have spoke every day and the he came to visit. While he was here, I can honestly say that I was truly happy. We went to Friday night dinner with the little crew my friends and I have put together, went to see Wicked on Saturday night followed by the bar scene with some friends, wandered around 5th avenue and had the best sushi ever Sunday night. Then Monday came and he left. But the rest of the time when there was no real activity, we walked around, talked, joked and just enjoyed each others company. He makes me laugh and does not care that I am a little weird and goofy- which is nice.

Typically, I have been the kind of girl to not open my self up- really not let me self seem vulnerable, because if I stayed closed, there was no room for getting hurt. There has been a shield up my entire life. But right now, at this junction of my life, that armor is slowly coming down and to be honest, I am scared shitless and so happy all at the same time. Who knows where this little adventure will go, but I can tell you this, its going to be another interesting ride....

Here is my real New Years resolution: even when time get tight, I will write more. I swear.

Peace, Love and putting the armor away... slowly,

B

5 years

I went out to lunch with a friend from high school this week. He is not someone I went to school with- but we went to youth group summer programs together 2 summers in a row. We were pretty good friends for awhile after- send e-mails back and fourth but never actually seeing each other. As more time passed and I went to college, we lost touch completely. The dissolving of out friendship was no ones fault other than time.

I hadn't though about him probably since Sophomore year of college- until last week when he wrote on my Facebook wall. I couldn't believe it! He was in New York visiting and wanted to get together. Right before he came to my office for lunch, no lie, I was a little nervous. What if him and I had nothing in common other than those two summers at camp? What if we had things to talk about for the first 30 seconds of our meal, and then nothing but silence and awkwardness?

I very rarely get nervous or anxiety about social situations- but for some reason, my nerves were shot. But luckily, there was nothing to worry about! We had a great lunch, talked about the summers at camp and then the rest of our lives- what has been going in our lives over the past 5 years- and how we both couldn't believe it has been 5 years already.

Lunch was overall great, we caught up and who knows the next time I will actually see him in the flesh, but our little date got me thinking: Is this what happens in real life, just one day, I will turn around and can't figure out how I got where I am at? No idea where the time has gone or how it slipped away? Even now I cannot believe how it has almost been 9 months since graduating college- since I left the womb of Bloomington, Indiana to the harsh reality of the real world.

I guess the real question is... where does it go, Time?

Questions of the universe...

Peace, love, and Old Friends,

B

Smiles

Yesterday, I made the usual mecca into Manhattan. Since the trains comes less frequently on Saturday and Sunday's- the car was a little more packed than usual. I was smushed between two quite large middle eastern men and staring directly at their family- complete with mom, dad, both sets of grandparents, two kids around 10 which I assumed were cousins and a small child in a stroller who was no more than 3. As always, I surveyed the train and gave a quick smile to whoever I happened to make eye contact with. I like to smile because I have learned that a small smile can turn someones day around.

Whenever I receive a smile from someone, my mood instantly changes for that split second- and possibly for the whole day. The act of smiling (in my eyes) is a form of paying it forward- passing along a little hope to the next person and so on- to where maybe the whole chain will be smiling and someones life will be affected by just one smile. Its like a butterfly effect- where if a butterfly flaps its wings in china, that little wind will create a tidal wave.

But back to the E train...

I made contact with the 3 year old in a stroller. He was adorable in his little puff coat and hat. I waved to him and he giggled, slouched into his stroller and gave a little wave back. Seeing his adorable face giggle, I gave out a little laugh and he indicated he wanted to play. He offered his chip in his hand to me, and we played in sign language. A little peek-a-boo, he pointed to his parents and across the train to his grandparents. Our entire interaction happened with no talking- also because he spoke no English. From what I could piece together, I guessed he spoke Arabic, but then again what do I know.

Our interactions made the little boys mother smile and laugh. She looked at me and gave me a nice smile and nod of gratitude before they got off the train at Roosevelt ave. The rest of the day, I was smiling, all because of this little boy. Just by smiling and giggling, him and I opened up a whole world of communication and shaped my mood.

Maybe this is all the world needs to get along. If just one person starts smiling, maybe everyone will pass it along. It all starts on the E train. Who knows where that little boy will go or what he will do with his life, but maybe because of our smiling game, he will remember it and smile at someone else when he gets older.

Just wishful thinking about the power of a smile and fixing problems....

Lesson Learned:

pass on the smile. And maybe you'll even get a babysitting job if you play with a little kid on the subway

Peace, Love and happiness,

B

Friend dates

Last night I went on a straight up girl date. My best friend has made friends with a girl in Chicago- who's best friend lives in New York as well. The glory of modern social networking is that instead of having to track down this girls phone number- I just sent her a message on facebook and instantly she could see what friends we had in common and do a little preparing before deciding if she wanted to respond. Thankfully, I passed the facebook stalking round and her and I went out to dinner. Friend dating is a new thing I have started, just to expand my social network in this massive city and obviously to make more friends. With the ability to facebook stalk, finding friends might seem easier, but its actually the opposite, but this girl could have pre judged me before even meeting me, just by seeing my friends on facebook. Its a vicious cycle.

Our friend date went well and ended up chatting about friends we had in common and college. The night went well and we have decided to be friends. Sounds very pre-school, like when I became friends with someone because they would let me eat the crust of their sandwich.

After this little date last night, I started thinking. No matter what city I am in, I am going to have to go on these friend dates. Every city is a new pool of people- but the one thing this city does not have that home does- my family. Everyone out of college has to start over, make new- morph into new people and form to their surroundings. But one fact keeps sticking out in my mind when I think about morphing- I am a peach. I will be back there, the question is when. And when I do, Ill have to go on friend dates all over again. Its all a huge adventure.

My life is an adventure. If I could get paid to have adventures, I would and Id have an awesome TV show. Sometimes I cannot even explain why I do things that I do.... But I hope yall enjoy it. Whoever you all are...

Lesson Learned:

Friend Dates: just do them.

Peace, Love and what am I going to do with myself,

B

g &b key

There is a very, very good reason I have been absent the past week. My computer has decided to make my life difficult. Two letters on my key pad have mysteriously stopped working (misspelled for a reason, the letters wont work). So writing this week is limited. Can't really write at work...I have no idea what happened. One day they were working, and now, they just are not. 3 keys, all in a row. To actually type them, I press firmly multiple times and hopefully they work, the stress of writing without these letters is difficult. i will say, my word choices are put to the test. I feel like I am in 5th year of school and writing a paper and they tell me I cannot use some words or letters. Dancing around the letters and realizing what words just are not allowed. Thanks to spell check, some of the words with g are corrected, the rest are mostly left in the dust.

A challenge none the less. If anyone is interested in what I want for Christmas (yes, I know I'm Jewish, Haunkkah is over, and Christmas wishes are in season)- This little writer would love, love, LOVE, a mini computer, so I could really write on the run- with a key pad that works.... it'll come in my dreams- it'll come in the package with the money for my loans and the novel of answers to my life I have been searching for...

Update on my life this past week: ITS COLD. FREEZIN. INHUMANLY COLD. I look like a walkin sleepin bag. Every time I walk into my gym, the girl at the front desk reminds me how rediculous I look and Every day, I thank her and say, "but it's so colddddddd"

Alright my friends, time for me to get dressed for the day and head out into the working world. By the way, I just got so frustrated with my keyboard, I slammed my fist into it... and Now, Its semi working. Keeping my fingers crossed I fixed it, but my Christmas wishes still stand...

More blogging now, game back on.

Peace, Love and If somethings broken, hit it,

B

Shake it

What is the deal with old men, yelling out of their car windows? What sort of pleasure do they get from screaming "Hey baby" or "Oh yea" or my personal favorite, "Nice Curves"?

Today, we had the day off because our office is moving buildings and I decided to go to the gym this morning. Since the temperature is inhumanly cold, I put on under-armor, which happens to be skin tight pants and shirt with my puffy vest. Now, I do understand that my butt has gotten bigger since I moved here, and the under armor does a nice job of showing it off, but in what grade did these men learn that its ok to heckle 22 year old girls on their way to the gym. My butt hasn't gotten bigger as in fatter, just taken on a different shape due to all the walking I do. I am not complaining at all about the look, because personally, my new butt shape fits into my jeans better, but what I am complaining about is the extra attention my butt is getting from all the dirty old men who drive by. It is just not ok. Mostly,I pretend to not listen to them- pretend that my i-pod is too loud or that I just did not hear them, but not today.

Today I decided enough was enough. Today, I turned around to the cab who screamed "Shake it" and gave him an ear full. Not in a mean way, in a way that let him know there is no chance in this life time that me, or someone like me would ever, in a million years, 'shake it' for him. Needless to say, he had nothing to say back to me. Instead, he just stared at me in disbelief. The shock that a girl would defend her butt just was a little too much for his grimy, greasy self to handle. I stared at him for a few seconds with my hand on my hip, waiting for him to say something- but nothing more was said, he just drove away as fast as he cold, like a dog running away with his tail between his legs.

Lets just say that I accomplished 2 things today. I stood up for women and hopefully I scared the gross cab driver from ever screaming out his window again. Although I know that is probably not true- but I like to think it is....

Peace, Love and the new butt,

B